I need to send this to my coworker who, instead of nodding, seems to always shake her head no even when she is agreeing with you. It is SO offputting.
@pesco I fixed the blank title, but you or maybe @jlw will need to put it back to the Boing category.
May one assume that she is not from America? Not everybody nods the same way.
My God! Why did they not teach these skills in my high school?
Dammit. I came here looking for tips on taking naps during meetings, not tips on pretending to be more engaged!
Internalizing other culture’s body language can take a bit (it did for me), this took me a while to learn:
I’m glad they left off the ass-kisser, laughing nod that’s usually reserved for “all hands” meetings with the big bosses.
Oh, I really need this.
[note sarcasm]
My general meeting nodding technique.
edit: My nod usually has a more Bidenesque subtlety:
Sometimes it helps to understand why - in the Indian case it’s considered rude to say “No”. This is actually the #1 example I use when working with cross-cultural teams.
Project “Rome 2.0”
Scenario 1
American liaison: Can this be done in one day?
Indian team lead: Yes!
Scenario 2
American liaison: How long will this take?
Indian team lead: Many years…
This is cynical shitty disingenuous shit, the kind of shitty shit that makes it despairing and shitty to be a human being.
Learn shorthand. It’s a fantastic skill in meetings, if you want to put someone off their game make eye contact with them while directly recording every word they say. Works a treat.
that note taking nod also including the ooh good finger point. you gotta notice stuff like that.
Ergo: people who nod like this are to be mistrusted.
This is me every time I have a conversation with a member of my family. Just nod and keep smiling. We’re in England, eventually they’ll feel the urge to go make a cup of tea and then I can make my escape!
