Inspired by “They missed a whole bomb in my bag”.
For most of the nineties and noughties, my parents lived in Ibiza.
So on my yearly visit, I had to bring some crazy shit through the airport terminals:
Four car tyres.
Six pieces of foam cut to fill cushions.
A ten-foot banister pole. (This at the height of the Iraq “WOMD” bullshit.)
Not all on the same year, thankfully.
Anyone else with daft stuff through airports?
In checked baggage, or in carry-on baggage? I presume you arent too bothered.
Any is good. Just remembering funny history and wondering if anyone else has the same.
Ms Hitachi in my carry on instead of checked luggage.
On my last flight pre-9/11 I had a 22-inch machete and a M40A1 protective mask (gas mask) in my carry-on
I googled that and got a mass spectrometer. I’m wrong, surely?
Magic Wand.
I’ve also had to hand-carry a specific type of navigation equipment that cannot be x-rayed, even by TSA. I would have to receive letters days before the flight and be escorted around security. The device would get its own seat on the plane and came with a special harness to allow it to be strapped into the aircraft seat. Frequently flight attendants would cause a fuss and want me to put it in overhead baggage but it couldn’t go there. People assumed it was a box containing organs.
Oh, gotcha.
This is like a Schwarzenneger carry-on. Were you going to war?
(more importantly, did you win?)
First post: I was coming back from military training and hadn’t packed properly.
Second post: just my day job
Just the one? Pfft.
Let’s see…a carry on full of…umm…intimate accessories, many times usually to/from NY or chicago
2 desktop computers with 17" CRT monitors (checked, carried on 17" touch screen add-on for one that arrived too late to install B4 flight and a carry-on full of exotic electronic, including a prototype palm pilot cell phone that never came out. This was all one trip to Paris in 96, so before the madness)
This week. 
Oh, the entries are separate. The first one was many times from 2008 - 20017 (right, SF too). Each time basically staring them down, daring them to say anything 
Oh, and some unlabeled pressed tablets a couple of times mixed in with Aleve. I have no idea what those might have been though 
When I was moving back to the US from Munich with all my worldly possessions in two super-sized roller duffels, the woman at security said, “Just tell me you don’t have bodies in those, ok?”
And that is how you got away…with murder!
The Münich mangler, uncovered at last!
We used to bring stuff from the SaraLee discount store to my aunt in upstate NY back in the 70s. When security first became a thing we wondered if the checkers would want us to open all of the packages. They never did.
The worst was when I attempted to bring a hair accessory (example here), through Beijing in the '90s. I’d purchased it as a souvenir, because it had a flower motif that matches my SIL’s name. The agent pulled out the hairpin, made a stabbing motion with it, shook his head, and that was the end of that. 
Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to say, “I’ve seen movies where a spy kills someone with a ballpoint pen, which has a point - unlike that pin (the hairpin was a blunt piece of metal).”
The best was my first trip to France. I was 17, and on an excursion to a vineyard they allowed my school group to purchase wine to bring home (3 bottles each). We landed at JFK, and those of us with wine were sure they were gonna take it, but the agents just waved us through security! Maybe they didn’t want to bother with a large group of teen tourists. 
