More stories of when I've gotten on trouble taking things on airplanes.
Last time I went to India was a few years ago. I bought a bunch of touristy crap, because when I'm stuck somewhere it's the perfect time to get ahead on my Christmas shopping for the family.
For my little brother (with whom I have a big, useless gift war with) I bought what they told me was a "Yogic Healing Wand". It's obviously bullshit, but it's a giant fucking wand made of marble, quartz and has a big crystal on the end. It was ridiculous and more suited to D&D, frankly. Here, I found a photo of the big bastard:
On my way back I stopped for a few days in Germany, and on my way out of Frankfurt I'd repacked, so it was in my carryon. Some German TSA fellows take me aside to search my bag, and take the wand off where they speak about it out of earshot--not that I speak more than a few words in German anyways. One gentleman smacks the ball end into the palm of his hand to demonstrate how clubby it is, and the other takes it and makes stabby motions with the crystal end to demonstrate how stabby it is. He comes back and says very plainly, "You cannot take zis on ze plane."
Anyways, into checked baggage it went to arrive home, alas, in 2 pieces. I glued it back together, and my brother I presume does nothing with it, because it's giant and useless. But he's pleased with this ongoing gift war.