Taco Bell's new Cap'n Crunch donut holes dessert


If these are anything like the Cinnabon Delights they sell, it will be like crack. Taco Bell use to be the closest joint to my office, out the back door and across the street. I’d stop in there a few times a day – I worked in a former hospital that was disconnected from the main hospital as it was the AIDS / Infectious Diseases wing (never made sense that they’d keep both populations this close) – and folks would randomly get mysterious diseases in my building that would hospitalize them and they’d close off that area and sanitize it and not say a word. EDIT: Didn’t trust the water supply…because I’m paranoid.

So…Taco Bell…across the street was pretty much my best friend. Only went in to refill my iced tea, but the girls would throw me the cinnabon delights every day even if I didn’t want them. And I didn’t. But I did. Soooo disgusting. Soooo goooey. Soooo fucking perfect. If I had a hundred of them, I don’t think I could stop eating until they were gone. I don’t even like going to Taco Bell now that I’ve moved to another building…because I know I’m going to want to get these things. And you know…its Taco Bell. But god damn these things. If you’ve never tried one, don’t…you’ll never get enough.


It’s good to see Taco Bell gleefully embracing their stoner-food image.

I’m waiting for them to start closing their stores at 4:20am instead of 4am, just as a blatant and unnecessary wink.


That doesnt look like a tasty food to me. It looks like one of those shock videos of extracting pus from a large boil; or perhaps an STI pick from some sort of super herpes that causes both painful ulceration AND purulent discharge.


Cap’n Crunch? It was reported several years ago that it would no longer be “actively marketed”.

Is the tide turning? Could the timing have anything to do with the return of French Toast Crunch?

everyone will be horrified by these, but i predict they will sell like hotcakes. taco bell knows what they are doing.


Food like that isn’t so much cooked as it is manufactured.
And the scientist there clearly know what they’re doing. And who their demographic is.
And I’d bet they were based in Washington. Or Oregon. Or Colorado. Or DC.
Just saying.


It’s a dessert. Nothing else than organoleptic characteristics matters for desserts.
Better noms through science!

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Louis CK on Cinnabons…


Well, that colorful description cured me from ever wanting to try 'em.

My gut thanks you!

Looks like a horrifying, disgusting variation on something delicious I love from my local Salvadoran restaurant- Empanadas de Leche.

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Colourblind people who miss Twinkies? Eight-year-olds on acid? People with a death wish who don’t have the guts to start smoking?


Dead Dog’s Eye.

Just making sure.

Yup. Definitely. (bleccch)

Hey, they could’ve coated them with Screaming Yellow Zonkers.

Does anyone have a spare insulin pen? I think I got diabetes just from looking at the photos…

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I know (unfortunately) whereof you speak - they are damn near irresistible once tasted. I’m not tempted by the cpt crunch ones, but the cinnamon ones smell and taste wonderful. I think the fact they’re hot is important – cold, they wouldn’t be good at all.

Those who mock should try them.

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I still want to try the Cap’n version…not because I want to get addicted once again (finally weened off of this habit), but because I just want to see how horrible and / or irresistible this is. Food scientists are awesome and scary at the same time.

I remember calling an out-of-town friend of mine. He had just returned from the store, having purchased then-new Oreo-Os. He admitted (through a mouthful of food) that “they’re delicious!” Never tried 'em, myself…

Cap’n Crunch was a long-time favorite but I didn’t notice it had been phased out. In our house, my parents rarely purchased sugar cereals (Dad bought Apple Jacks once, I am guessing by mistake). Golden Grahams were about as wild as it got, until they invented Halfsies (which, from what I remember, tasted like Cap’n Crunch but with NutraSweet instead of sugar – also made by Quaker, and also featuring Jay Ward animation). The only exception was when we had company, or when we were visiting relatives. Then out came the Cookie Crisp! But if we were stuck with plain shredded wheat, or bran flakes, etc., I simply made up for it by ladling sugar into my bowl of cereal.

I remember one visit to my grandparents, 1982 or so, and they had a box of Waffelos. We were impressed that they could still buy that cereal where they lived, because we hadn’t seen it in a while, by then. Turns out it was not a recent purchase…

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I’m delighted to see Taco Bell throw the proverbial Baby Ruth into the gene pool–that sucker needs a thorough cleaning out. Let those prone to over-indulgence quietly remove themselves to a wading pool of frosting and berry bits. I’ll bring some fat straws so we don’t even have to try.