Take a quiz to see which US presidential candidate matches your views

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98% Bernie down to 4% for Frothy and Rubio.

The Republicans I agree most with are apparently Rand Paul and (WTF?) Huckabee at 41%.


Huh. Rand Paul and Bernie Sanders… both 74%

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But how well do you match Clinton?

Her and Ben Carson were 60%.

Trump was 41, which I am sure was the big question…

Bernie at 97. Biden next, who apparently I haven’t been paying enough attention to…first Republican is Rand Paul, and yeah, I think he’s got some good ideas (Christie is surprisingly high - apparently he’s more of an environmentalist than I thought!). Overall fits my Libertarian-leaning-liberal viewpoint pretty well! Santorum, Cruz, and Walker all bottom-trawling, which also isn’t shocking because ugh, those assholes.


Bernie 100% … which is pretty damned close actually.

Hilary 94% … except that I don’t believe she is going to do anything to help out the middle class or strengthen the social safety net, and if Bernie doesn’t win the primary I’ll most likly be voting for Jill Stein.

Trump is 19%, Walker is 1% and Perry is a perfect 0%.


Rodney Dangerfield 112.3%


The quiz was better than most, but still had a lot of holes for people like me who don’t fit any of the current classifications. Among other things, it means I scored higher with some of the crazies than I should have. Also, nobody higher than 85% and nobody lower than 15%. It’s a good reminder that even if you happen to agree in principle on a particular issue, it might be for VERY different reasons.


99% Bernie, 92% Clinton, down to 1% frothy jizz and 0% Rubio.

But all this shows how terrible the two-party system is in the US. The top three Democrats were 90% or higher, none of the Republicans were above 25% (except for Christie, at a surprising 58%).

Why should views on abortion be correlated so highly with views on immigrants? Why should views on gun control be correlated so highly with views on offshore drilling? I mean, I understand why everyone would have every one of my views, but if you disagree with me on gay marriage, I can make a good bet that you’ll disagree with me on taxing the rich, and that’s just silly.

Unless, I guess, if these views really do boil down to being controlled by a very binary part of the human psyche (ability to empathize, or whatever).


I think my vanilla results compares well with how I feel about politics.

Not bad, 96% match with Sanders, 81% with Drunkle Joe, but only 78% with H. Clinton. None of the repubs fair higher than 40%, never worth considering anyway.

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Quoth America: “Sure, Bernie and I might have a 98% match, but I’m still voting for _________, because, um, someone told me he’ll never win.”


I think you meant to say, “but how well do you match Clinton’s hot air?”

There should be two HRC entries in this quiz- one being how well you match her 2015 talking points, and the other being how well you match her actions of the past 20 years.


One of the problems with any quiz or political debate is the designer’s ability to frame what the “important” issues are. Due to a lot of the social issues Biden got a surprising 91% from me. I say surprising, because his long history of support for surveillance and back-dooring crypto make him a complete no go in my book.


He is the only one I heard promise we’re all gonna get laid.


I’m at 96% Bernie here.Then Biden at 84%, even without mayo. Alllllll the way down to Sanatorum and Perry with 8 and 7% respectively.

Unfortunately, this still leaves me with 0% ability to vote in this election, because that ocean keeps getting in the way.


Funny how we, the public, are only allowed to have positions on issues which the candidates have stated positions.

The questions which are most important to me don’t even appear on this survey. Should police be routinely armed? Should banks be allowed to keep the houses they own empty? Should “intellectual property” exist?

This kind of menu-based democracy, where you can have anything you like - so long as it’s on the menu - is probably the greatest threat to actual democracy in the world today. That’s why elections continuously fail to bring the change we hoped: they are not actually democratic. If we want a society that’s actually “for the people, by the people”, we need to look somewhere other than elections.


Too bad the media decided that Bernie can’t be allowed to win. It looks like plenty of people agree with him.


Better hope @Cowicide gets 100% with Bernie…