Terrible pickup lines from around the world


#1

[Read the post]


#2

On another note, apparently Digg still exists.


#3

The question I always want to ask is: “Ok, but how do those creeps manage to reproduce, eh? 'Cuz there seems to be so many of 'em…”


#4

I would never ever use a pickup line because i’m just too shy for that kind of behavior but if i was I think dropping a truly (and purposefully) awful pickup line you could get her to laugh about it and break the ice.
With my gf i will jokingly tell her pickup lines and i’ll mismatch the punchline to a different pickup line for comedic effect.


#5

Am I doing this right?


#6

It’s novel enough but how will she know which creeps you’re talking about?


#7

Best pickup line ever. No, really. It’s kind of awesome.


#8

I like my women like I like my coffee. COVERED IN BEES!!


#9

That would absolutely, 100% work on me.


#10

I think that frog is checking you out.


#11

Best pickup line I have ever used: “Hi! I’m japhroaig, am I interrupting anything?”. I love funny pickup lines between friends (know your audience) but it is amazing what treating someone like a human will do.

Back to the terrible jokes.


#12

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “FINE” written all over you.


#13

I have the death sentence on twelve systems.


#14

I always went with the tried and true honest pick up line… “I am terrible with approaching women…want to just go get a coffee and talk?”

For some reason, I don’t know why, most women I’ve ever been friends with or dated seem to enjoy being treated like a fellow human being and appreciate someone wanting to get to know them through conversation. I know…seems crazy right?


#15


#16

Try this one weird trick to… Oh, I can’t do it :smile:

Treating peeps with humanity and humility is the only way. Then you tell the bad pickup lines as a goofball like me.

(Furiously Google image searching…)


#17

I like the one that goes:

“I like my coffee like I like my women…BITTER”


#18

Coincidentally, spent a few hours going over some ‘terribletinder’ instagram. Was fascinating, in a horrible way, like reading about how bullet ants fall from trees; or, the operations of tarantula hawks.

Really takes a bit of thinking to realize how lines do effect me and are used, even though I meditate on some. Those, though, are in relationships, and meant for me. They were thought out, passionate, and individual. Probably not even consciously constructed, but just said from a deep pool of passion. The sort of statement that sounds hot coming off their lip, and then you think about it, and see it is hot from many more sophisticated angles.

The sophistication is naturally a guarantee it is not formulated and contrived. Like a badly placed product placement in a movie.


#19

Did someone just put out a fire? Because you are smoking!


#20

All of those are terribly ridiculous. But not terrible. No awfully creepy, directly sexual stuff that make you wish to call the police.

As one of the girls said, “poor little boy” is what those feel like.