Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/29/tesla-adds-farting-mode-and-ot.html
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A car to which the manufacturer has a permanent always-on back door. Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.
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Fairly soon this will be standard on all new cars. Makes me glad I don’t have one.
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Why? Just why?
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Let there be an April Fool’s Day update which allows the car to fart at random intervals.
Hilarity ensues.
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Fart mode is funny when travelling with the kids. Once.
The romance mode is only available in park. The missus was demonstrating it to me while at a stop light and the car next to us thought there was a fire burning on the console.
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Constant firmware updates to a machine used to drive on the interstate at 75 miles an hour. What could go wrong?
Cutesy non-essential functions like this just seem like they just increase entropy without adding much value.
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I wonder if it farts when someone sits in a pre-selected seat? I think most cars now have passenger seat sensors that arm/disarm airbags and seat belt nag-alerts. It would be awesome if you knew you were going to be picking someone up and selected their seat to sound off when they got in. It would be double plus good if there was one that sounded more like a seat creaking just to add layers to the comedy. All in all, this makes me want a Model S even more now.
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Can we treat our zooming deathboxes with a bit of respect? I’d love to see them dedicate the extra engineering time to improving the car in some way.
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Reluctant snicker.
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Never drive on Patch Tuesdays!
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My preferred setup would cost about $150 000 Canadian. For a rolling woopie cushion.
Worth. Every. Penny. 
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Instead of 7 choices of repeating the same sound, can’t they have the AI study farts and make unique realistic ones each time based on the length you click the button?
Can you combine the features? Romantic fart mode? Fart and catch fire mode?
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If it can be done safely for pacemakers and implantable defibrillators (hint: it can), then it can be done safely for cars. The basic concept is that the firmware download stores in memory until shutdown, then gets loaded as the active firmware. There’s usually a security and checksum done before taking it live, too.
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Sweet, sweet summer child.
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I thought Teslas were supposed to save gas. 
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For some, fart mode IS romance mode
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Farting signals you are well-fed and resources are plentiful. Pass gas to impress, that’s what I always say.
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The driver can select which seat will fart, then can use a control button on the steering wheel to fart on-command.
Edited to add: @howaboutthis when a seat is selected the fart only comes from the speaker by that seat.
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