Texas school bans sunscreen because a child might drink it

At least the school started allowing soap in the restrooms again now that they took the proper precautions.


2 days later we’ll find out the superintendent of schools just happens to run a high-gothic celtic fashion haberdashery in 4 locations; we will need all new memes, then.


I’m just amazed that paranoia about sunblock managed to win against THE TERRORS OF RADIATION, which people tend to fear even when it makes no sense to do so, and in this case we are actually talking good, old-fashioned, chromosomal damage…

Wandering around in a haze of delusional paranoia is one thing; but you have to rank your fears correctly.

As it happens, hand sanitizer does get banned from time to time because it can be used as an alcoholic beverage if you are desperate enough. They add a bitterant, along with Aloe-with-soothing-action and focus-group-citrus-scent and whatnot; but your basic Purell is ~70 ethanol, under 5% isopropanol, and contains none of the more…aggressive…denaturants because that would make it unsuitable for frequent skin contact.

Compared to even a $10 handle of Mostly Not Xylene!™ brand vodka, it’s not exactly the choice of champions. However, if you are in prison or middle school, it may beat your other options.


As weird as this is, it’s exactly how my schools handled things growing up. Any “medicine” – sunblock, aspirin, cough drops, moisturizer, even saline solution for contact lenses – needed a doctor’s note or a parental note (it was a little vague). They were incredibly paranoid. This was central Ohio in the 80s and early 90s.

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Dear Superintendant,

Please be consistent and ban dihydrogen oxide (water) from school. Kids might inhale it. Inhalation of water is deadly. Also, ban books. Kids may smash their heads into them and suffer severe head injury. Ban shoe laces (danger of asphyxia when inappropriately wielded), ban pencils (may cause permanent blindness when applied to the cornea). Ban children. They exhale CO2, and as we all know, CO2 has a higher binding affinity to haemoglobin, displacing valuable oxygen from the bloodstream—not to mention the adverse long-term changes in heat capacity of the the earth’s atmosphere.


Yep. Safe from frivolous lawsuits that could be brought by idiot parents on behalf of their idiot offspring. Won’t someone think of the school budget?

Hey, I have this crazy wild idea. How about EDUCATING these kids not to poison themselves, rather than make their lives fool-proof, such, that they don’t have to think for themselves anymore?


That particular case isn’t really a knowledge problem: the belief that suitably formulated hand sanitizers will give you a 140 proof hit of good old ethanol, while being cheap, readily available even in controlled environments, and sufficiently weakly denatured that they probably won’t kill you too much faster than a garden-variety drinking problem is true.

There’s just a difference of opinion between teachers and corrections officers on the one side, and students and inmates on the other, as to exactly how awesome it would be to take advantage of this.

Education is only minimally effective if somebody’s behavior is based on a correct understanding of the facts, coupled with some other flavor of arguable stupidity, rather than a lousy understanding of the facts coupled with the desire to act reasonably.


This is ‘Cover our arses from lawyers’ crazy though.


We’re in the lead for sheer craziness, but Texas tops us for senseless cruelty.


Obviously the only sane solution is to set the children on fire while they’re still in the womb.

For Jesus.

And great strength.


Yes, save (from poisoning) all those dumb kids that drank their lotion instead of using it properly and let everyone burn evenly!
Note to school: you think that something that you rub to your skin could be poisonous and got permission to be sold?

Why didn’t the parent have applied sunscreen at home?

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Ok. Fair enough. If common sense is in question with nowaday school kids (whom you mention in one breath with prison inmates, which is typical), don’t ban hand sanitizers. Just label them: “Upon excess use of hand sanitizer, we will send your parents a compensatory bill.” I the land where road and traffic authorities get sued by people who bump their heads into lamp posts, money talks.

Eh, maybe let the dumb kids extinct? Quality instead of quantity? This happens everywhere (I am from Poland), we produce kids and “protect” them against everything instead of educating to protect themselves.
I remember my friend said that they “educated” his kid at school (primary, 7-8 year old) that “car is supposed to stop when he is near road crossing” and “have to stop when pederastian is on a road”. He said that kids have merged that to “car has to stop when you are crossing”… now his dumb kid is entering road, looking drivers dead in the eye, without stopping to look around. When my friend, scared, tried to talk to the kid his reponse was that “the car has to stop, that is the law”… does not matter that over 1000kg vehicle will not stop just like that - not an argument, law says it has to.

At first, I thought this movie was a comedy. Instead, it is a prophetic document already turning into reality, and even sooner than I thought. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/

Both categories are under considerable state supervision and have limited access to desirable drugs. When it comes to attitudes toward dubious booze, those are pretty important variables.

How closely they overlap in other respects depends largely on the quality of the school.


Maybe this is like an extension of global warming denial: There is no hole in the ozone layer, the sun is actually cooling, sunscreen is a global communist conspiracy to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids.


Because over the course of ten warm hours outdoors, sunscreen needs refreshing. It absolutely does not last that long at anything like specified protection.