Kim Jong Il got a hole-in-one five times in a single round. Oh, those nutty dictators and their golf claims.
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Hahaha! Golf problems. You know what I wanna see? I wanna see a really really rich developer draw up plans to build a “mixed use” condo complex right in the middle of the fairway on hole X of a golf course that’s owned by some other really really rich douche. That would be good popcorn material.
I think I saw that movie…
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All she needs to do is rotate her stance about 20 degrees clockwise and she’ll be on the green every time.
Person 1: (aghast) Oh my goodness, that golfer is terrible! Did you see those results!
Person 2: Yeah, but she gets results!
She didn’t even say FORE!
A long time ago I enjoyed golf until I realized it was a walk I enjoyed and resented the golf carts. Now I hold with Mark Twain: golf, a good walk spoiled.
But to anyone who thinks golf is easy I’ll just say this: you try taking a small angled paddle on a long metal pole and using it to send a tiny ball several hundred yards at moving targets. 
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Golf is not a sport. Golf is men in ugly pants, walking.
~Rosie O’Donnell
Another reason for El Presidenté to hate Rosie O’Donnell, though in his case there’s no walking and the pants are so small they can barely contain all the ugly.
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Ah, so that’s why so many curlers golf.
It’s a summer outlet for their masochism.
(Seriously, you try sliding a 44 pound rock down a sheet of ice and having it stop within millimetres of a target over 100 feet away. It is a lot harder than it looks).
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Both sports also originated on Scotland, so you get the trio of highland pastimes: golfing, curling and playing the bagpipes.
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What do you expect from a place where there’s basically nothing but stones, sticks, and sheep you can hollow out for food and bagpipe bags?
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The masochistic trifecta!
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Can someone send her to play at one of Crooked Donnie’s clubs while he’s playing through? She has what it takes to be a real American hero maybe.
But you can curl in the summer:
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Oh man, it would be great for some reporter to ask Trump about that-- he can’t say “Kim is lying” without drawing more attention to his own cheating, and he can’t say “it must be true” without the entire world rolling it’s eyes in unison.
Maybe Trump and Kim could play a tournament on live TV to settle the matter.
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Maybe handle negotiations with each hole determining the outcome of a point of contention, with PGA officials watching every move…
“Now we move to the third tee. This is a 450 yard Par 4, dogleg right with bunkers on either side of the fairway. The winner of this hole determines whether the US reduces troop placement in South Korea by 50%!”
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If either participant fails to make par, they will be executed. Why not? Obviously won’t be a danger for either of them, based on their self reported prowess.
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