The best Snooker break of all time was even faster than its official time

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He would have done it much faster if it wasn’t for that annoying guy constantly getting out again the black ball.


snooker commentary

then there’s bowling… “i think he’s gonna have to go for the strike here, Jim”


Ah, that Ronnie O’ - what a player!

I jus’ loves watching him tickling those… Oh, I’ll stop now.

I just love snooker. As a spectator, that is. Such amazing feats, in a cozy environment of subdued excitement.


I have no idea of the rules of Snooker but daaaamnn…that’s some seriously high-level precision play made to look ridiculously easy.

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It reminds me of seeing Pasquale Sheddings in the late '90s; truly the pinnacle of performance. The way he eyeballs a Walpole at 1:09 is a textbook clamper, and look how he dips inside the veldt. I feel like his right hand shows some benji wilt but it’s probably just the pressure. Good stuff.

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“This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, “You can’t work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench.” Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, “The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.” Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, “It says sprocket not socket!”

  • Steve Martin

“Wait, were those plumbers here tonight, or…”

Another fond memory I have of snooker is a match between Steve Davis and Stephen Hendry, in which the latter was finishing the game but was already beaten. So, for panache, he announced, and performed, a five-band on the final shot.

Most of it is him making sure that after every red he pots he’s in a position to line up a shot on the black (he could go for any colour, but black is most points), and every time he pots the black he has to put the white in a position to get another red, and so on until he’s potted all the reds.


Shortly, in Snooker you have to pot a red (1 point - 15 of them initially), then one of another color (2 to 7 points) that will be put back on the table as close as possible to its initial place. When there’s no more red, the color balls must be potted in ascending order of value and aren’t put back.

That’s it for the basics.

I’m thoroughly convinced that Snooker and Cricket are satire games that have rules exclusively made up on the spot, like the attributes of snipes. “A brisket can only be made after executing an appropriate poopsie”.

That said, good snipe hunting ain’t easy. Marvelous.

“… like a concert pianist preparing breakfast in his kitchen.”

Shouldn’t that be “master chef” rather than “concert pianist”? I’m sure there must be at least one concert pianist out there who can’t cook worth shit. Otherwise, we’re going to eventually see something like this:

“… like a master chef preparing to conduct an orchestra.”

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