The Body Orifice Security Scanner is why the rectally smuggled phone is called "Beat the BOSS"


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/27/im-about-to-go-into-a-tunnel.html


#2

#3

Interesting to see how threads begat threads here. Sean Spicer inspecting staffers phones => Phone designed to be rectally smuggled => Chair designed find stuff being smuggled rectally.


#4

Oh cool, that’s my phone. I’ve been pretty happy with it. I know it’s not the way of the future, but there’s something transgressive about getting rid of one of the screens that rules your life. Dumbphones FTW!

What’s all this about smuggling, though?


#5

I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video; Is this a chair that mechanically probes the person sitting in it?

And it isn’t being sold as a sex toy?


#6

Just so I understand, am I right in thinking that someone posted about the tiny phone in an article about Spicer, and then someone posted about the BOSS in the article about the phone, and so now we have an article about the BOSS?

No real point here, I’m just glad to know @doctorow reads the comments section.


#7

Narcs.


#8

No, it scans for magnetic feedback in order to detect metals. No disrobing or probing needed.


#9


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#11

Does it come with a CD of “tough guy” music as featured in the video?


#12

The Body Orifice Security Scanner?

I prefer the lesser known model: Poop shut Magoo.


#13

Two thoughts: The passcode is “123456”, which is the passcode an idiot puts on his luggage.

Second, the demo features a white guy talking about how to search dangerous criminals, and the person playing the dangerous criminal is of course not.


#14


#15

the boss detects unwanted metal objects such as: medium and larger needles, razors, blades, keys, metal tubes, one sided razor blades, knives, hacksaw blades, nails, drill bits, tools and bullets

If someones able to shove tools like the depicted pincers or hacksaw blades into his ass, he does not need a special “ass-phone” if he wants to smuggle a mobile phone in his backside.

The rest of the video is full of silly quotes (that suggest the future operators of the boss are idiots):

  • green means the system is ready, red light means alarm
  • if that happens simply turn it of and on again
  • it protects against violent crime and -raises voice- liability lawsuits

#16

Holy Jesus I’m still laughing and I left this post hours ago.


#17

According to the INCREDIBLY LOUD promotional video, no, but if your first thought was of George Clooney’s obsessive DIY project in Burn After Reading then we are on the same page


#18

There’s a lousy job: product testing at the Beat the Boss Phone Factory.


#19

It’s turtles all the way down man!

But seriously, what’s next? Mandatory colonoscopy to search for phones designed to beat the B.O.S.S.?

Then IV communications devices designed to beat the scope up yer bum!


#20

I’m waiting for the rectally-smuggled charger that goes with it.