The dangerous, exploitative, and dirty business of "healing" crystals

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/18/the-dangerous-exploitative-a.html

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For a time the local market has a guy selling minerals for collectors (not for their Magical Stone Powers).
He was in the process of moving to Madagascar, and some of his specimens were just bonkers. There were quartz crystals with several other minerals caught in them, as if they had solidified in the middle of a tectonic smoothie.

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Today I learned that the whole “healing crystal” thing has only become more popular in the years since it became a stock punchline. Absolutely fascinating.

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I dunno. . . this large crystal I have here keeps tigers away, as you can see by the fact there are no tigers in the vicinity.

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There are a lot of disreputable vendors out there. Always insist on GENUINE Gelfling Essence.

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Sad to say, a family member was making her money pitching this woo for a while. She’s since moved on to flogging another therapy scam (basically a cult), but I hope she sees this article (I try not to engage her directly on this garbage).

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Every time I go to the store, they are out of stock. I am always stuck with Pod Person Essence instead.

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I still suspect that scene made it into the movie because Jim Henson watched Eraserhead and thought to himself “I need to figure out a way to get that nightmare baby into a family film.”

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Sign of the times - googling mineral names, the top results are usually a site that gives both the scientific info I was looking for, but the supposed “powers” of such minerals. :confused:

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I just re-washed the movie recently. Try taking a shot every time they say 1000 years. :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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I only know people who are into them with their tongue firmly in cheek. There are many in my generation (Millennials) who goof off with crystals, tarot, and other woo woo things without entirely buying into New Age metaphysics—they just find the silliness of it all to be fun. However, given that most of those folks care about social justice, they’ll probably lose interest once they learn about the dark side of crystal mining (unless people start selling “sustainable/fair trade” crystals, which I bet will happen, if it hasn’t already).

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I only buy crystals for tabletop RPG terrain. I can affirm they have a magical effect on dice rolls!

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What, you don’t have dice made of quartz or the like?

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Forget healing crystals. What I need is an anti-tiger rock.

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This line would fit neatly on one of the black cards in Cards Against Humanity.

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I have a feeling I will be falling down 30 minutes before the credits. :slight_smile:

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The same goes for those stupid ‘salt lamps’. A friend of mine saw the result of salt mining in Nepal, and it wasn’t pretty.

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Was in a junk shop on a native reservation the other day. Browsing though curioes. End up in the back of the store and they have a dispay with minerals. See a ver obvious piece of natural asbestos.

realigns the spiritual energies. Use as an incense tray.

“you know this is asbestos right?” “naw that’s moonstone”

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For every new age subscriber who genuinely gives a shit about social justice, there is (at least) one who is happy to rationalize that the unfortunate soul who plucked this particular crystal out of the ground - must have chosen this life’s path somehow, and the karmic scales balanced out long before this particular conflict gem entered their posession.

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