Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/02/14/say-hello-to-the-worlds-firs.html
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The woo is strong with this one.
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Cross marketing with goop.
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Great, now you can get malware infested connected devices with your woo. Truly we live in the 21st century.
I have been wondering about this ever since I started to see things like this for sale several years ago - why Himalayan salt? Why not rock salt from some other salt mine?
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Himalayan salt is higher in midichlorians.
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Boingboing trying to make a buck by selling snake oil bullshit to their readers. Pseudoscientific exploitation. I will use their services less as a result.
29 Likes
How did I make it this far without a $200 smart salt lamp?
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Can’t tell if this is a joke or not.
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Is there any editorial oversight on these sponsored posts? This seems tone deaf af for this audience. Jeebus.
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Contains all-natural Eastern mystic bollocks, yeti auras and a 1000% markup.
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Mmmmm, I can feel the negative ions of the Himalayan spirits flowing through m…fuck, wait, that’s not Himalayan spirits, that’s a botnet!
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Easier to rape the environment and get cheap labor + big mountain mysticism. “Arizona rock salt lamp” doesn’t evoke the same mumbo-jumbo.
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Does it also blockchain? /s
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It’s smart so of course it does once the hackers get a hold of it. It’ll DDOS too for no additional charge!
Can’t tell if this is a joke or not.
It’s definitely a joke; the question is whether it’s intentional or not.
17 Likes
This woo powered salary reducer will clean the air by refocusing your good thoughts in to a powerful antibacterial beam of pure bunkum which has been clinically proven to provide maximum levels of hokum, guff, and drivel while simultaneously displaying your penchant for flapdoodle and poppycock. Your friends will be impressed that you have managed to hold a steady job long enough to have even afforded such luxurious and irresponsible bosh. Become the envy of your fellow halfwits and order one today.
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OK BB, that’s enough of this crap. I’m out of here.
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Channeling your inner Seuss today? 
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Would you say you’re… disappointed?
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