The dangerous, exploitative, and dirty business of "healing" crystals

Sometimes, you really have to curse the players.
But then again, they’re players, and probably deserve it.

@LDoBe The asbestos family is wide. Tiger Eye is part of it. It’s all them fibers wot make it pretty.

“Pointer & Pickles was dusty. Dust was the keynote of the shop. Vimes must have passed it a thousand times; it was that kind of shop, the kind you walked past. Dust and dead flies filled the little window, which nevertheless offered dim views of large lumps of rock, covered with dust, beyond.
The bell over the door gave a dusty jangle as Vimes entered the gloomy interior. The noise died away, and there was a definite feeling that this marked the end of the entertainment for today. Then a distant shuffling was born in the heavy silence. It turned out to belong to a very old woman who appeared, at first sight, to be as dusty as the rocks she, presumably, sold. Vimes had his doubts even about that. Shops like this one often looked upon the selling of merchandise as in some way a betrayal of a sacred trust.
As if to underline this, she was carrying a club with a nail in it. When she was close enough for conversation, Vimes said, ‘I’ve come here to-’
‘Do you believe in the healing power of crystals, young man?’ snapped the woman, raising the club threateningly.
‘What? What healing power?’ said Vimes.
The old woman gave him a cracked smile, and dropped the club.
‘Good,’ she said. ‘We like our customers to take their geology
seriously. We’ve got some trollite in this week.’
‘Good, but in fact I-’
‘It’s the only mineral that travels backwards in time, you know.’”
Terry Pratchett, Thud!

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Haha! No they don’t.

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Matter of fact: there are no dangerous animals except some rare, introduced crocodiles on Madagascar. And this has something to do with rocks, indeed.

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I was talking about the young people who are into this stuff for shits and giggles but don’t actually believe in it, not the dupes who buy shit from Goop. Believe me, the people I was referring to care about social justice. I know these people.

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tourmaline

They have pixies?

(Edit: Good to know there’s at least one other BoingBoing reader that watched Carnival Row)

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Well, asbestos would make a great incense tray - no more burning your place down.

Though are you sure it was asbestos? Selenite is very common, has a fibrous looking texture and similar color. And according to the first google search entry: “A protective stone, Selenite shields a person or space from outside influences.”

To me it is pretty crystallized gypsum. You can get really clear samples that act like fiber optics.

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Flavor crystals.

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jesus-christ-marie-theyre-minerals

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Thanks. I have some friends who really need to see this one.

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Yes - I’ve seen signs at gem shows that it also purifies water. Why can’t these mystics be sued to eternity I will never know.

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Happy to share.

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Shungite, eh? I sense a new opportunity for someone.

“Crystals, yeah? Healing, right? EMF! Dis-rup-tive.”

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Huh, it is mostly carbon (98%), and evidently DOES have anti-bacterial properties.

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They’re just outside your door, in the dead of night – every single night – waiting… waiting… waiting. They then leave, just before you go out in the morning to buy more crystals. Timing is everything.

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I would also recommend you not look her directly in the eye.
Cornered cultists can be dangerous.

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I heard that sticking a crystal up your butt helps align your chackras.

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Crystals are healing. I took a lovely tub soak in some Dead Sea salt water - great for the skin!

Other than that…

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I heard that helps you pick up short wave signals.

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