Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/20/the-food-guard-kicks-plastic-w.html
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Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Food Guard.
Caution: Happy Food Guard may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Happy Food Guard contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Happy Food Guard on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Food Guard if any of the following occurs:
itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
or heart palpitations.
If Happy Food Guard begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Food Guard may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Food Guard should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Food Guard, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Food Guard include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Do not taunt Happy Food Guard.
Happy Food Guard comes with a lifetime warranty.
Happy Food Guard! Accept no substitutes!
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I’m slightly intrigued by the product, but I’m more intrigued by the prospect of a video featuring the model just stretching the item.
Ten minutes would be sufficient.
Oh, who am I kidding? 3 minutes is plenty.
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This is a hell of a way to sell surplus dental dams.
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Betcha the guy masturbating the elephant could have used one of these
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Ok, having watched the video and seen her put sealed bowls of stuff in the microwave, I want to see an experiment to see how far they deform before bursting (if they do burst) when the bowl’s contents are left in long enough for superheated steam to be the result.
I never put anything completely sealed in the microwave - you have to allow steam to escape/pressure to dissipate or things inside tend to explode.
REALLY bad reviews on Amazon! Ouch!
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Well…the Product Description on Amazon does say—and I quote—
We created Food Guard to be easy to use, stretchable and ‘gripy’
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They sure did market this for the wrong room.
I hope Piers Anthony gets royalties for when APFI is really invented
http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?89601
I’m gonna hate myself for this but…
*silicone
I have some similar versions of this that seem to work a lot better.
One set is just a silicone, flexible lid that just sits on top, you don’t wrap it over the edges, but it’s smooth enough that it tends to form a seal.
Second set is more like this, but has a ‘lid shape’ with a lip around the edge. It honestly works pretty well too.
Both are pretty good for ‘I have a bunch of stuff I need to put in the fridge and it’s in a bowl that doesn’t have a lid’ compared to like plastic wrap/etc.
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