The Nazis made this exploding chocolate bar to kill Churchill


#1

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#2

Wouldn’t have worked. Churchill was notorious for swallowing chocolate bars and small babies whole, wrappers and all.


#3

Seven-second delay? As if this wasn’t Wile E. Coyote enough without the added potential for comic timing hijinks.


#4

Exactly. If you can sneak in a bomb, wouldn’t poison be easier and more effective, with fewer moving parts?


#5

Those Nazis really had some great ideas.

[note sarcasm]


#6

“By Jove, this chocolate bar is exceedingly heavy and smells of strange solvents!”

“Zis iz ze vinest milk-chokolat vrum Zvitzerlund, herr, I mean Mr Churchill! Please! Enjoy! Wiz ze gusto!”

(chomp!)

"I say old chap (crunch crunch) this tastes just like American ‘chocolate’ (nom nom) but the crunchy spring surprise is delightful! (crunch crunch) (snort of whiskey)

“Sheisse!”


#7

“I’ll just leave this here,” / quoth the Nazi chocolatier.


#8

No “Crunchy Frog?”


#9

Cue the Assassination attempts on Fidel Castro.


#10

This is how I want to die.


#11

It would have been easier to just set his brandy on fire.


#12

Imagine if some intelligence agency somewhere just worked on killing rival leaders instead of killing rival leaders in an embarrassing way. There is a embarrassing propaganda at work in this and the exploding cigars and a lot of the kill our rival leader schemes.


#13

I know this for no particular reason, but ~40% alcohol doesn’t set on fire very easily. Bacardi 151, or ideally polish Spiritus, burns much, much better.


#14

Ah, that’s one of our specialities. Covered in dark, velvety chocolate, when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks.


#15

Everclear if you’re serious about it.


#16

Sadly, the war ended before they could replace his pocket watch with a Messerschmitt.


#17

Don’t ask me why but one of my friends held a lighter up to the opening of a recently emptied bottle of Everclear. There was a strange hooting sound and for just a second the inside of the entire bottle was coated in blue flame. It was pretty cool but I wouldn’t recommend trying to repeat the experiment.


#18

A fumes explosion! And so minor as to be reduced to a party trick.

Much like flowing butane from a bic into the neck of a fresh beer bottle and lighting the top like a candle.


#19

This is a bit pedantic, admittedly, but it was designed to go off when the row of chocolate squares at the end is broken off, not bitten into. From the look of it, just biting into it stands a good chance of not setting it off, only revealing that there’s something very wrong with it.


#20

Everclear is for pansies. Spirytus Rektyfikowany is (varying) 1-3% more pure, son.

The Polish know how to get it done.