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Because they have not yet found the perfect mix of gut flora to cure them from their antibiotics-induce constipation? 
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Is your buddy Ken a member of Kids in the Hall?
Did they do that joke originally?
First place I saw it. I think from season four in 1993:
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I feel like they missed a perfectly good opportunity to make a cattle mutilation joke at the end there.
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My old scout leaders had all the stories too. One universal theme was the harmlessness of the pranks, outside of some ego’s getting ribbed.
Somehow we’ve turned into a culture where the harmless pranks have been nearly fun-policed out of existence, likely with unforseen consequences.
Yeah, I mean an intelligence able to cross interstellar space isn’t going to be noticed by humans unless it wants us to notice it. But I got my bug-out bag ready just in case I’m wrong…
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Nah. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
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I’d like to know if there’s actually any truth to this:
“Internationally, we are the most backward country in the world on this issue,” Mr. Bigelow said in an interview. “Our scientists are scared of being ostracized, and our media is scared of the stigma. China and Russia are much more open and work on this with huge organizations within their countries. Smaller countries like Belgium, France, England and South American countries like Chile are more open, too. They are proactive and willing to discuss this topic, rather than being held back by a juvenile taboo.”
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Seems like the standard ad hominem approach of most UFOlogists. They wonder why no one wants to debate the issue with them when their MO is to get defensive and insult the skeptics.
But sure, we’re the juvenile ones. 
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