The Sandwich Alignment Chart (cue John Hodgman's exploding head!)


Originally published at:


They missed the opportunity to use Lawful vs. Chaotic to make it a real alignment chart.


While I like the idea of radical sandwich anarchy, the practice not so much if it involves eating pop tarts…


Radical Sandwich Anarchy? Yeah, I think I saw them open for a few bands.


I just like the idea (as does JWZ) that there’s a Radical Sandwich Anarchy camp I can join.

I strongly feel - and I mean this in an entirely neutral, observational sense - that the approach to this issue alone would be a pretty good predictor of one’s political and social leanings.


They’re a Half Man Half Biscuit trbute act.


Fine, so long as the Biscuit half isn’t Limp


Where’s the option for insisting that ‘Sandwich’ should always have a capital letter, as it’s named after a person?

‘Eggs Benedict’ always gets a capital ‘B’, after all.


Do they open with 24 Hour Garage People?

…what sandwiches have you got?
Well now you become quite irate and your voice becomes louder, and you start to sound like Leadbelly at the depot…
“I got ham, I got cheese, I got chicken, I got beef,
I got tuna-sweetcorn; I’ve got tuna-sweetcorn…”


I want to comment on how this chart is entirely wrong because of the fact that a burrito is NOT a sandwich, it’s a burrito…

I think whoever made this is trolling. That or I am more of a sandwich purist than I had originally thought. If this is any indication of how I or others define sandwiches, it’s very enlightening.


pop tarts

driving through rural Arizona a few years ago, i stopped at a verrrry modest roadside shop for a snack - out of a chest freezer like the one in my basement, they offered several flavors of ice cream sandwich, consisting of a slice of ice cream cut off a supermarket half-gallon block, neatly placed between two pop-tarts, and wrapped in ordinary cling film - perfection of anarchy


I think the Pop-Tart is a step too far. I think that’s more of a Tart than a sandwich.


That’s a reflection of your alignment. You’re not going to consider anything below or to the right of your alignment a “sandwich.” The real affront here is that a hotdog isn’t even close to neutral.


But it is the logical progression of the Sandwich devolution. It doesn’t care about ingredients nor structure.

Heck, it’s related to the crust-less pressed Sandwich, in that it had a filling and bread on all six sides of the topology, just like a double ended burrito like what you get at Qdoba or Chipotle. It’s admittedly the Chaotic Evil of the Sandwich alignments, but it’s arguably a Sandwich.


i totally don’t get the hot dog hoo-ha - run out of buns, use bread, it’s a sandwich - run out of bread, use the heel, it’s a sandwich - use one heel, fold it over, how’s that different than a bun or a sandwich?


Would you, in an ordinary situation, cut one in half for sharing?


I struggle with the hot dog. There are other things which I do consider to be sandwiches which should make me consider hot dogs to be sandwiches, but I just can’t bring myself to classify a hot dog as a sandwich. For example, I consider a meatball sub to be a sandwich. I would also consider a sub made with sliced sausage to be a sandwich. But not a hot dog. There is no logical reason why a hot dog shouldn’t be a sandwich to me, and yet it isn’t.

Also, I freakin love PopTarts. They’re awful for me, and they make me fat, so I avoid them, but I LOVE them. I know that’s weird. Objectively, they’re pretty shitty in terms of flavor and nutrition, but I don’t care. I love them anyway. Not a sandwich, though.


If you slice a hotdog lengthwise and put it between bread it is then, and only then, a sandwich.


Nope. And I know that makes no sense, but once something is a hot dog, my brain says it’s not a sandwich.


i have a kid who can usually only eat half of one = yes, frequently

are you working on an algorithm? - ok to ask me more questions