@actionabe and @othermichael: It's WAR!


Thin crust pizza is the only righteous pizza.
Ketchup on a hotdog is delicious.

Both of you, renounce your false idols and embrace the one true way. You will suffer less by acquiescing, for i am the Grand Inquisitor of food.


Can I put ketchup on my hot dog pizza?


Yes my child, you may.


Hey, call me Splitter, but once I’ve finished my hot dog with ketchup, I want my pizza with a fairly thickish crust, not that cracker-dough shit. That stuff just makes me thirstier.


I’m suffering from cognitive dissonance due to those first two sentences being in such close proximity to each other.


Five bucks says you’re the opposite kind of Splitter from me.


Okay, your a splitter. (Grammar Nazis’, I tempt thee)


Don’t you mean Nazi’s?


Good one. Ill fix it.


Can I put ketchup on my hot dog pizza?

Memories of “mini pizzas” made on English muffins when I was a kid. They were pretty close to that.


I don’t claim Papal Infallibility. But I am right 100% of the time.



Thine Food Commandments!

I. Thou shalt enjoy tomato based condiments on anything thou chooses
II. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbors mustard, unless, err, thy really needs to
III. Thou shalt not covet the relish, cause a little goes a long way
IIII. Thou shall pass the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes
FIVE. Thou shall relish the civet, cause apparently they are great at making a cup 'o Joe


I’m not much of a joiner, but this is a religion I can get behind!



I blame the media.





Were we standing on boxes outside the ballpark, I’d hand you my relish.

In fact, you can have all the relish anyway.



I take ketchup AND mustard on my hot dogs (which are actually lemon chicken sausages) and thick crust for my pizza.

Deal with it.


I’ve heard so much about this that I would pay $40 to drink a cup of steaming hot weasel poop just to satisfy my curiosity.