Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/30/the-yankee-candle-phenomenon.html
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I thought the topic was going to be about “Why does a store like Yankee Candle exist at all?”
I mean, it’s a store with nothing but…candles. Expensive candles at that. Is this really the best that market capitalism can produce?
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There’s not much that makes me feel more like a middle aged white person than burning a scented candle. Except when I’m also listening to James Taylor.
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So FEMA already uses the Waffle House Index, perhaps CDC should create a Yankee Candle Index.
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As someone who lost much of their sense of smell, back in March/April, I noticed it because so many scents I recognize were replaced by a single “scent” sensation. Peanut butter, diesel fuel, a sizzling steak: All about the same. Only now are some things returning. Coffee and cinnamon scents were both gone for a while, but now, 6-months after my COVID-19 experience, they are returning(!)
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Be thankful you can’t smell some of those scented candles. . .
(thanks, LiartownUSA.)
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It’s not well publicized, but they do keep a few fork handles in the back for the lulz.
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To give random passer-bys an instant headache?
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That role has been supplanted by Lush.
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SRSLY. Holy cow I have to give that store a wiiiiiide berth and hold my breath; the smell is overwhelming.
To be fair, I can’t even burn a single scented candle or be in tight quarters with anyone who uses a scent. Then I get a slow creeping headache.
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The Amazon review data is pretty interesting. Depending on the sample size, it could be a pretty sound way of estimating the prevalence of undiagnosed covid, at least within demographics that buy lots of scented candles. You’d need to control for a few other things, but the good* thing about this compared to, say, Google trends, is that Amazon has a ton of specific, verified personal info about each reviewer.
* (for a certain sense of “good”)
I genuinely fear having to pass by Lush at the mall, although it hasn’t been so much of an issue this year
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Given the overhead cost of mall rental they can’t possibly ever be in the black. Soooo… they’re drop stations for international networks of spies. The candle they walk out contains their next mission. Same goes for those rubber stamp shops, only they’re for the other side.
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I toured Prince’s home/recording studio in Minneapolis last winter. The man was seriously into scented candles.
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Interesting idea for a movie. SNL featured a different type of international candle network:
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“Are they made from real Yankees?”
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SIX WEEKS EARLIER, IN A PARKING GARAGE LATE AT NIGHT:
PETROVA: What can you tell me about COVID-19 trends?
SHADOWY FIGURE: Why should I help you?
PETROVA: Because people will die if someone doesn’t start shedding some light on the subject!
SHADOWY FIGURE: [deep drag on cigarette] If it’s light you want, then go to a candle store.
PETROVA: What does that even—hey, where did he go?
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I had friend that worked at the Yankee Candle factory when we were in our 20s. He would come home after work and his shirt would be stiff from absorbing wax in the air. We pondered what this might mean for his lungs. Then he got another job.
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I suspect Yankee candle buyers and red hat wearing laddies have interesting Venn diagram.
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Makes me wonder why Confederate Candle isn’t a thing.
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