Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/04/03/the-young-man-rose-like-jesu.html
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“Batman-like” tools? Really?
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Ohh, glowsticks.
Well, okay then.
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More like “he rose like a ballcock.”
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Honestly, I know of a couple of New Jersey cops who would have gone in to search for him themselves at a much less expensive rate.
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What? Batman used ropes. Ropes count as “Batman-like” tools.
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Coulda got him out much faster - just tell ICE there’s a kid down there speaking Spanish.
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It’s a shitty job, but someone has to do it.
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He was decontaminated at the scene and taken to a nearby hospital for a medical examination.
“He’s not getting in my ambulance like that. Hose him off first!”
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Now that is some shit luck.
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“This young man rose like Jesus”
I guess they skipped that part in my parochial school, about Jesus “… bursting through some old and rotten planks…”.
Then again, it could have happened, Jesus having been a carpenter and all.
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That’d do it.
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I’m betting that’s one young man who will spend a whole lot less time in the future jumping up and down on old abandoned crap to see if he can break it. (-:
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You missed a bit, it is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula” 
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To be completely pedantic (-: when the Portola Expedition came across the LA river, they named it El Rio de Nuestra Señora de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, “The River of Our Lady of the Angels of Porciúncula” - a reference to a fresco on the wall of the small chapel at Porziuncola, Italy, where their order’s founder, Saint Francis, began his career.
The fresco depicts the Queen of Heaven surrounded by a crowd of angels, bestowing the “Indulgence of Porciuncula” on their order’s founder, Francis of Assisi.
Since they discovered the river on “Porciuncula day”, when pilgrims to the original chapel could earn the Indulgence, they named it for that.
(Note the absence of the phrase “la Reina”, and that it’s the name of the river, not the (as-yet unfounded) pueblo.)
Later inhabitants immediately shortened this to *Rio Porciuncula", of course. (-:
When the pueblo (an agricultural settlement meant to support the nearby mission at San Gabriel) was founded on the banks of that river, it was named La Reyna de Los Angeles, “the Queen of the Angels.”
It was only later historiographers who munged these two names together, tacked on “El Pueblo” (which is no more part of the official name than “City of” is part of the official name of today’s LA), and promoted this (and other even more fanciful variants) as the “original name” of LA.
It isn’t. The original name of LA was simply La Reyna de Los Angeles, “The Queen of the Angels”.
(And no, I don’t know why it was spelled “Reyna” rather than “Reina” – but that is, in fact, how it’s spelled in the founding documents.)
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