These Lord of the Rings wedding bands will help you in the darkness bind them

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Originally published at: These Lord of the Rings wedding bands will help you in the darkness bind them | Boing Boing

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The ring names are confusing. Wasn’t “The One Ring,” “Frodo’s Ring,” “Gollum’s Ring,” and “Sauron’s Ring” all the same ring, with the only difference being that it magically re-sized itself to the current holder?

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Wouldn’t it be better to just sell replicas of the canonical rings?

  • Sauron’s One Ring
  • Vilya, the Elven ring of air, set with a sapphire and worn by Elrond
  • Narya, the Elven ring of fire, set with a ruby and worn by Gandalf (after Círdan gave it to him)
  • Nenya, the Elven ring of water, set with adamant (fictional stone, but diamond would be a good substitution as adamant is described as being impenetrably hard) and worn by Galadriel
  • The seven dwarven rings (no names or descriptions given, so you have full artistic license)
  • The nine rings for mortal man (no names or descriptions given, so again you have full artistic license)
  • The Ring of Barahir worn by Aragon. Not a ring of power, but a relic of Valinor that was given to his ancient ancestor Barahir by Finrod (Galadriel’s older brother) for saving his life.
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They’re meant to represent the characters themselves rather than the One Ring, but it is slightly confusing at face value. The Gandalf one is also puzzling because he wears one of the Elven rings, Narya, which has a red gem set in it so i was expecting to see something that was related to that but it’s a plain ring with a brushed texture. Again i get that it’s more of a reference to the character itself rather than the ring he wears, but it does complicate things.

As an aside, the name of the business being Manly Bands puts me off. Its got that toxic masculinity vibe that i’d rather not deal with.

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And thus, “in the darkness bind them” is now BDSM innuendo.

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620×620 59.9 KB

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There’s a whole economy of retail items traditionally seen as “feminine” being repackaged to cater to male fragility; baby wipes, facial moisturizers, hair styling products, Fox News opinion hosts, etc.

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“soul-sucking marriage” - love it.

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I used an LOTR ring for my wedding 6 years ago. It was of unknown shiny metal and was $12 on eBay.

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Ditto. These are more aesthetically interesting to me than rings with precious metals or set stones - but good grief that name is a tacky, embarrassing turn-off.

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