This dog can’t figure out how to walk through an open door


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My dog wasn’t that smart. We had to put some masking tape at eye level so she wouldn’t bop the sliding glass door.


Oh, the doors in our heads… they are not easily opened (or closed).



I have to wonder if something idiosyncratic is involved here, or if canine intelligence just varies that dramatically; because for this dog apparently unable to risk hitting a glass door and unable to just ‘tentatively test for glass’; you have the stories of dogs defeating the electric-collar boundary fence systems by approaching the border, waiting for the warning beep, backing off, and repeating, until the battery dies and they cheerfully breach the perimeter.

There is a lot of anecdote related to breed-linked intelligence; does anyone know what, if any, body of solid data we have about variations in canine cleverness? Have we managed to produce Alpha Pluses through Epsilons? Is it much more individual, with us tacking on interpretations based more on which breeds have goofy and affable looking faces vs. mischievous and sly ones?


Shepherds were once bred for intelligence. Hunting dogs, for strength; terriers for size and speed; fighting dogs for aggression; &c. &c.

But for a long time most dogs have been bred to approach a specific physical “Platonic ideal” for their breed. And because (surprise!) physical and behavioral traits are linked in a complicated way we don’t understand, dogs exhibit all kinds of behavioral problems breeders weren’t selecting for or against.


The dog is just worried about what happens if the invisible force field comes on while he is IN the doorway.



Well, neither could Hillary.




Is this a metaphor for the american electorate?


The hatch of your hamster cage is open
But guess who waits just outside the door
Stay on your treadmill
Keep running on that wire wheel
Briefcase in hand
Money rains down just out of reach
You’ll burn out soon enough
It’s all part of the plan
When you’re no longer useful
You can finally retire
To the glue factory of your choice
Free at last
To scratch your head
Wondering what happened
Free at last
I bid you goodbye
On your own
To wait to die


THIS is the comment of the YEAR.


Dogs- always fighting the previous battle.


My last two dogs have had a slightly different problem: they’d bolt out after opening the sliding door. Thankfully, they are small dogs, so they just bounce off the screendoor, but you’d think they figure it out after one or two times.


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