Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/05/26/this-emergency-kit-has-all-the.html
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No lube and no sriracha!!!
No deal.
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Do not confuse the two.
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Two substances that you definitely don’t want to mix up.
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Shall we call it a tie? 
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How much weed has it got?
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The kind of rations that fit in a small box are probably survival rations. Your family is not going to like them. They typically are designed for people sitting on a boat performing little activity. They have enough calories to keep you alive, and they are bland and inoffensive in case you’re seasick. Great to have, but don’t make them your primary food source for a disaster.
People who live in hurricane and earthquake areas are a bit more experienced and know better. Everyone should have a good plan for their family, because floods and other disaster can strike almost anywhere.
My earthquake kit is rather heavy and in a backpack. It has water for 3 people for 3 days. The water gets replaced according to the expiration label. (varies based on form factor, 2 to 5 years is pretty normal)
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Needs weed and mushrooms.
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This was going to devolve into an EDC parody thread anyways, so here we go.
My emergency kit:
Water for 3 people for 3 days
Beer for 2 people for 4 days
Bottle of Sriracha
Bottle of Lube
Bottle of Vodka
Scented candles
2 person hammock
Gameboy Micro w/ flash cart
30 pack of Ramen
Spicy hot cheetos
USB solar/crank charger
Lightweight long-battery life laptop (x360)
I feel like I’m forgetting some stuff…
There it is.
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and so we won’t binge and use them up in the first few hours out of boredom
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Most of us aren’t expecting a pretty good night in Vegas.
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No Nylons or lipstick either.
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You say that like they are two different things. LMFTFY: Siracha Lube. It’s a lube and a delicious hot sauce (also a floor polish… 
)
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Uh, no. The KN95 mask shown has ear loops:
If it has ear loops it isn’t a respirator grade KN95. You need straps that go behind your head to seal the mask tight enough to your face to be a respirator. With ear loops, much of the air and contaminants just follow the path of least resistance and go around the edges of the mask rather than through the higher resistance path of the filter.
Details matter when talking about “respirators”, especially these days - they are a specific grade of mask requiring both high filtration and an air tight seal. BBS shouldn’t be using the term “respirator” to describe a mask that isn’t respirator-grade.
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That’s good, because it is a one-person survival kit.
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So they aren’t the huge tubs of vomit that the talibangelists are selling?
EtA: my phone thinks talibangelists is a word. TIL.
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They are lifeboat rations - compressed bars of flour, vegetable shortening and sugar meant to be shelf-stable for 5 years. And they probably still taste better than that swill Jim Baker is selling.
The good thing about life boat rations is that you will never be tempted to eat them in anything other than an emergency…so no need to worry that your emergency kit has been looted of delicious food…
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You can save some weight if you share the hammock.
What are the other 2 people supposed to do in the hammock, listen to you play Game Boy every night?
It’s for the person who doesn’t fit in the hammock. 
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usually priced at $100… $10 off, just $89.99
Is there a calculator in the kit?
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