Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/09/23/this-globe-decanter-turns-clas.html
…
Yes, really classy.
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I prefer a container that can go anywhere with me.
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It’s so classy, people will think you are one of the big shots who shop at Spencer Gifts!
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I can call spirits from the vasty deep!
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That headline.
Surely it’s missing a comma.
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Methinks thou art correct, good sir.
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“This globe decanter turns classes, up your spirits”?
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Doubt it, but it’s probably got one superfluous word in it.
Just like the intro…
Sipping ON whiskey?
Hmmm - I just find myself sipping whiskey. But maybe ON makes the whole experience better.
Or maybe:
Sipping AT whiskey?
Sipping OVER whiskey?
Sipping IN whiskey?
Sipping UNDER whiskey?
Sipping WITH whiskey?
Basically, there’s fucking whiskey everywhere except in my mouth, so I’ll stick to merely sipping my whiskey, thanks.
(No prepositions were harmed in the making of this post.)
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I don’t.
I suspect this was the writer’s intent:
“This globe decanter turns, classes up your spirits”
Using “and” instead of the comma would be even better.
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Classy, with a K?
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Globes turn - “turns” is redundant. But if judged needed then, yes, “and” instead of a comma.
Headlines exist for a purpose - to get attention, with clarity.
Well, this one got attention, I guess.
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And two z’s!
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And two e’s instead of y.
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Enough. I’ve got globes to turnwhiskey to drink.
Later, everyone. Enjoy your day of rest! 
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Don’t forget the accented è for that extra bit of international flavour.
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Ooo yes, very klazzeè! 
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But at that angle, the boat’s alway sinking…
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Empty snifter five my father lies.
Of his pee a puddle is made;
Those are diced-carrots that were his lunch:
Of the rug that stain doth not fade,
But doth suffer a vomit-change
Into something sticky and strange.
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Is it crystal? Crystal decanters contain lead which leeches out into alcohol stored in it. I don’t use crystal decanters.
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