there used to be an urban legend that the Muzak musicians were Japanese and zonked on opium or some such.
not true, of course, but other info relevant to this thread in there.
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I have this elevator music moment that I cannot shake from my head. I was in a grocery store and on the soundtrack came Simon and Garfunkel’s “Feelin’ Groovy” only done very bouncy and upbeat instead of laid back, with la small chorus of ladies singing it up an octave from the original version. It was such a hilarious rendition of the song, so on the nose to the lyrics and stripping the song of all subtlety.
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In additional to all the disposable crap, the store itself was also disposable!
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What bliss! It’s a vaporwave goldmine.
NPR just picked it up and interviewed the arch-archivist:
http://www.npr.org/2015/10/12/448059164/putting-the-k-in-muzak-years-of-kmart-background-music-archived-on-tape
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I worked at Kmart from 1989-1992, so this is extremely bizarre and amazing to come across. If I ever find a time machine, I want to go back to Kmart and find myself, pimply-faced and hornrim-glassed, working the cash register, and say “Kid, in 25 years, there’ll be this thing called the Internet, and you’ll be sitting at home using it to listen to these exact tapes of soft rock musak and automotive department announcements that drive you insane, and you’ll be happy about it. Crazy, huh?”
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I worked at a Kmart in MD during the same period. That 1992 Christmas tape was the one that pushed me right over the edge. “Kmart Radio! K-M-R-T!”
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I hadn’t listened to that one yet. Oh my god. Memories of Christmas Eve shifts. Price checks on every item.
For the true effect, every thirty seconds, interrupt the music by yelling “400 to register 6 for a price check!” or “600 for carts!”
Elevator music? Say what you want about tastes, but the audio linked with the post starts with the actual Level 42, the 80s two-hit wonders who brought us Something About You and Lessons in Love. Also, as I heard it start, I thought “man, the elevator music guys nailed that Mark King bass line.”
Yeah, so far:
Level 42 - Guaranteed
The Human League - Human
Billie Hughes - Welcome to the Edge
Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald - On My Own
Hall & Oates - Don’t Hold Back Your Love
This stuff isn’t out of copyright yet. Better hurry up and download before the cease & desist hits The Internet Archive.
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Wait, was she damaged from the flashback? Because yeah, that’s the actual version of Human.
From the flashback. Pardon.
It’s clear from the photo that the “K” in Kmart stands for “kerning.”
The streaming is working great here. This is perfect working music.
It’s Mark Davis here, the uploader of the 56 cassettes. A person who I have been corresponding with just sent me two reel to reels from Kmart. Holy grail? Not sure. One from 1988 (pictured) and one from the 1970’s. Stay tuned, these will be digitized soon! Look for them at archive.org soon.
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I’ve been listening to these recordings you made. Great background music, thank you. I’m an easy-listening fan.
Around 1991 or so, I was a door greeter at Kmart – one of those schmucks who hands you a leaflet when you walk in – and most people had the same expression you’d expect when walking into Kmart: “oh god. Kmart. Let’s get this over with.” But one week, our tape had Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” on it. Not a Musak version, the actual tune. One after another, shoppers would walk in looking grumpy, hear “Piano Man”, smile, and start signing along. It was kind of magical. Until they switched back to Debby Boone.
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I knew there was a reason that chain always gave me the creeps when I shopped there.
I shudder to think that hearing Billy Joel was the high point in anyone’s day.
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This is a midwest Kmart, circa 1991, we’re talking about. In that context, Billy Joel’s an oasis of joy.
Kmart was actually in its boom period then, doing great business and buying stuff like Waldenbooks. They were also redoing all of their stores to update and refresh them. Midwest stores came late to that party; the store I was at still looked like it was stuck in the late-70s and sort of smelled like pee. It was much nicer by the time I stopped working there in 1993 or so.
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Response to my video and collection has been incredible – Thank You! Please listen to the following Robot Overlordz podcast to hear an objective discussion around this viral event:
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