This is the world's largest specimen of the world's most venomous spider

boing
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Originally published at: This is the world's largest specimen of the world's most venomous spider - Boing Boing

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I think every headline like this should come with an obligatory nod to zoologist Lindsay Nikole with a “THAT WE KNOW OF…”

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3 inches? That’s … horrifying.

I don’t mind our regular non-venomous tiny spiders, but I would leave behind a cartoon dust cloud in the shape of my body, in my hurry to get away from this monster.

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You milk 'im, you…

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It’s not, though, just the largest male specimen.

The largest ever found is supposedly a female nicknamed ‘Megaspider’ which was also donated to the same reptile park.

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Although the male delivers considerably more potent venom than the female.

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“Whilst female funnel-web spiders are venomous, males have proven to be more lethal.”

Just like humans, eh? :thinking:

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Women aren’t venomous if you listen the first time.

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Sorry :persevere:

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Speaking of Youtubers, For a second I mistook the Australian Reptile Park Logo for Clink’s Reptiles House’s Logo.

I was preparing myself to learn why a huge venomous spider would make a great pet…

Here is Clint teaching you which spiders make good pets.

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I was telling a more-recent fellow immigrant to Australia how to tell if it’s a funnel-web:

  1. If it’s climbing a smooth surface (painted wall, glass, etc): relax. Funnel-webs can’t climb smooth surfaces.
  2. If you look at it and think “I wonder if that’s a funnel-web?” - it’s probably not a funnel-web.
  3. If you look at it and think “JFC! That’s the most evil-looking spider I’ve ever seen! If it’s even a spider, and not a satanic robot! WTF is that thing?” That’s a funnel-web.
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Jimmy Fallon Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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Quote from the Australian Geographic link:

“After a total of 13 recorded fatalities and years of research, an antivenom for the Sydney funnel web was finally developed in 1981. “And we haven’t had a fatality since,” Mick says.”

To put this into perspective, that total recorded fatalities of 13 is less than the number of Australians killed by tobacco per day. And yet, when I watched them being milked at the Australian Reptile park, I definitely wanted to get out of the room, even though they were all on the other side of a window.

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Statistics seldom soothe primal mid brain fears. Which is why I hear stories about plane doors flying off and shout “see, I told you the numbers lie!”

Besides, those spiders being milked almost surely had packs of smokes rolled up in their shirt sleeves. And with eight arms that’s a lot of sleeves.

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