This keg is full of ranch dressing

Originally published at:


More like a weaponized version of Ranch Dressing.


Barf is not enough letters for a comment. Alas.


Hey, didn’t someone just post that in another thread?

It’d be nice if you guys would attribute these things.

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And after the dressing is gone we brew small hand tended batches of a Ranch Buttermilk Stout in them.


Be very afraid. 04:11

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Delicious with… you guessed it… bacon!

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There should be big American flags printed on it.

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Am I really the only one who immediately thinks, “keg stands”?

Not being American I knew ‘ranch dressing’ was something Americans liked but didn’t know what it was. I looked it up.



When my daughter was a baby and was starting to experiment with eating solid foods, I lost count of how many people (acquaintances and strangers) suggested or outright insisted that I start dabbing ranch dressing on everything so that it would become the magic sauce that would make her eat all undesirable foods. Ummm… no.

Saw it about 3 times on FB before it showed up here. It’s making the rounds.

I bet they sell a bajillion around Superbowl time, but not much other than that.

Man, if that bugs you, you really don’t want to know what we put it on.

…see, I’m afraid to ask now. I mean, looking at the combination of ingredients it seems almost too rich to put on anything.

Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

We put it on things that are already too rich


Then there’s salad. Or at least the American definition of it, which these parts sounds dainty and feminine and low-calorie, but this is usually what you get before salad dressing:


Which is to say, a pile of meat and cheese and as fatty of veggies as can be found to un-bland the healthy bland salady stuff.

Yes, I’m exaggerating. But not that much.


Where I live, we’d call that second thing the main dish, and that’s before drenching the whole thing in mayonnaise. ‘Salad’ is, like, fresh vegetables, seasoned and served with a bit of oil and maybe a bit of crumbled cheese and, if the taste needs it, vinegar. Garden herbs. A few spices.

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Yeah, in many ways the US is a highly bastardized culture. BUT, I am mostly talking about what you get in cheap low-to-mid grade restaurants. And to some extent how people cook at home (which is also highly variable: see “white people don’t spice their food” memes).

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