This new whiskey has crabs

Originally published at: This new whiskey has crabs | Boing Boing


“Briny Fireball” sounds more like a J. Jonah Jameson exclamation than a combination of flavors I’d like but I am 100% in favor of eating/drinking invasive species and 200% in favor of whiskey, so good luck to the distillers and anyone interested in brackish cinnamon.


Except 200ml of Fireball will cost you ~$4 here in PA, and this “briny Fireball” will cost you $65.

Fun fact, the PLCB reports that those little 50ml for $0.99 Fireball bottles are the #1 seller (by units, natch) in Pennsylvania.

Also, the “Corpse Flower & Durian Brandy” and “Eau de Musc Whiskey” are still available.

Beaver anal glands


I get that carcinication keeps happening over and over, but I hoped it wouldn’t strike our whiskey. I worked on green crabs for a few years; they’re not tasty.

also, why does the bottle not have a green crab on it? That’s a cancer*.
*the genus of crab, in case thats unclear


Hurray! Finally something to drink with Bud Light Clamato.


(insert puke emoji)


For fuck’s sake. What is wrong with people? Fireball ‘whiskey’, now with the world’s first great taste of fish? No. Stop that, it’s silly

Read this and said a Mitch Hedberg “What the fuck…. Is a Green Crab?!?”. A few min later after consulting the Oracle at Google, I come to find that it’s smaller than a Blue Crab and is destroying habitats and aquatic life on both coasts.

Time to go eat some Dungeness Crab before these green MF’s make things go all pear shaped.


A real Chelada with Clamato is great. I’m sure out of a Bud Light can it’s awful, but the real thing on a hot summer day is magnificent.

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The Taste of Maine

I really can’t believe this. Marketing wants me to develop a new drink, but all they’ve given us to go on is “The Taste of Maine.” I swear to god, Norman just thinks that if he can string a few words together things will just magically appear. What does it even mean!? Fine. They want the taste of Maine, then that’s what we’ll give them.

It’s actually not terrible

After firing off a couple of angry letters, I decided to to try to show them just how stupid this idea was. We took bottles of Vim classic and brewed it up with fiddleheads, lobster shells, and a couple other extracts and I was sure this was going to be absolutely disgusting. The thing is, it definitely taste kind of weird, but it’s actually not as terrible as I thought. Maybe if we work on the flavor profile a bit… cloves or Aster extract… What the hell, we can try taste testing it. At least it will keep them off my back while I figure something else out.

So this is really happening

I just got the label proofs from Mr. Reed. They are actually going forward with this crazy thing. Despite taste testers saying it has a “fishy” taste, they seem to actually be liking it. The Aster extract seems to cover up the aromatics of the lobster… somehow. I really can’t explain why anyone likes this thing.

Apparently they are going to call it Captain’s Blend. At least for now.

Mrs. Mason, I’m going to need you to explain a few things before I can authorize these expense reports. I’m seeing nearly $10,000 spent at the fish market. Is that right? What on earth are you spending that much money on at the fish market that would possibly be going into a soda pop? I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong, yet, but I really need to know what is in that recipe before I can approve this.

  • Madison Young

What a terrible thing to do to whiskey :disappointed:


This sounds like something you would drink in an obscure run down bar in Okinawa on a dare.


Right?!? Like a made in J-A-Pan version of Toe Whisky.

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Going to need a larger shelf for novelty whiskey.

This seems like something that would be sold at South of the Border next the see-me-clothed-see-me-naked pens.

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I’ve got a bottle of Eau de Musc (the beaver one). It’s pretty good.

But Tamworth’s stunt whiskeys are not the reason to visit. The rest of their portfolio is pretty amazing. They’ve got a bunch of great gins that use native NH botanicals gathered locally, and their Old Hampshire Applejack is wonderful. They also have some really interesting liqueurs that make for tasty cocktails. I’d recommend a visit if you’re in the area.

There are also some very pretty mountains nearby to hike in.

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I suspect that this particular outfit is shooting for a slightly different price bracket:

They are just desperately artisinal

Taking a cue from the 19th century Transcendentalists of New England, we pull our inspiration and our ingredients from the environment that surrounds us. From start to finish, each spirit embodies our scratch made ethos: local, house-milled grain, pure White Mountain water, herbs and botanicals from the woods and our garden, and local fruits and vegetables.

and using a 250 gallon still.

Likely a rounding error compared to the guys who take the ‘hard liquor is basically drop shipping’ approach and just slap a twee brand, a flavor gimmick; and a hefty markup on a dilution of good old ADM product code 020001 or competitor equivalent.

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