This person has the longest fingernails ever

Originally published at: This person has the longest fingernails ever | Boing Boing

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Most world records are fun or goofy or impressive, but a select few are just variations of the first act of a Hoarders episode.

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I’ve never quite understood the desire to win this particular record. I keep my nails as short as possible. Plus the question that is always asked…wiping has to be a challenge.

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It’s her life of course but I can’t really get my head around what kind of mindset would drive a human being to voluntarily give up the functional use of their hands. I think I would almost prefer losing the use of my eyes.

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And most records are achievements that have to be worked for, you know? In the article it references how she made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom in order to focus on growing her nails. That’s just… not cutting your nails. There’s no focus required. You just have to make serious life changes to allow this dumb eventuality to happen.

I’ve had the dubious pleasure of having a chronic malingerer in my life and they would take any feasible opportunity to push off responsibility for the smallest-effort tasks due to their involuntary incapacitation, and this just looks like she’s found a novel way of removing the ‘in’ that precedes ‘voluntary’.

gross vomit GIF

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Perhaps there’s yet another record they’re trying to break… or create.

I suspect this files under the grieving makes us do funny things category.

Her story is heartbreaking :broken_heart:.

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This is the ultimate extreme example of it, but i must admit i’ve never seen the appeal of long nails.

Looks horrible and the longer they are the less utility you have with your hands…

I remember an office i used to work at where the receptionist had very long nails, it was bizarre watching her struggle constantly with basic tasks because she could barely interact with objects :confused:

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This takes it to an extreme. Imagine her poor family having to deal with this, I doubt she can wipe her own butt.

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I wonder if she uses a bidet.

It seemed to me that she could have benefitted from grief counselling

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Seems like not the worst possible response to grief and depression, but then again “voluntarily” disabling yourself in this way must be… yeah. Is she able to do even the most basic everyday tasks alone? It was easy to see how much she struggled with that old school phone - I doubt she could even hold a smartphone.

I would recommend a good therapist, plus a set of nail clippers. One has to wonder how much good regaining the use of her hands would do her physical and mental health, assuming she was able to embrace the change of course.

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Nope!

As I child I was traumatized by 2 random horrific images I still can’t unsee. One being the It’s Alive! mutant baby claw from the TV commercial, and the other being the Guinness book photo of the guy with the longest fingernails.

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