This poor alligator with a knife stuck in its head is seen swimming in a Texas lake

[Bernel]

@knoxblox

When I was attending The University of Florida, the married housing and daycare were practically across the street from Lake Alice, home to several gators for many years. CYA, ya know.

In Gainesville the humans are a lot more scary than the gators.

[knoxblox]

This is true.

[Ryuthrowsstuff]

@Richard_Kirk

Are we victim-shaming alligators here?

We are sincerely questioning whether the gater is a victim. If Bill Cosby swam by you with a knife in his face you wouldn’t think “who the hell would stab an unsuspecting, friendly, Bill Cosby while he was just wandering by”. You’d be thinking about a certain established pattern of behavior that might be related to said knife in the face.

@Richard_Kirk

They also have relatively weak jaw-opening muscles, though the ones that close are tremendous: it is (allegedly) quite possible to hold an alligators mouth closed.

Apparently a rubber band is enough to keep it closed, and even a child could do it one handed.

That said you’re going to lose the hand trying to do that with a wild alligator. And if the jaws are already open, you’re boned.

@Richard_Kirk

The original post was fairly neutral

The original post is tagged “humans are awful”. But there’s a pretty good chance the human involved here isn’t in one piece. So…

@Richard_Kirk

There seems to be no local hero saying “I saved my friend from an alligator with a kitchen knife”.

Are we aware of any missing persons around the area where the gator was spotted? Are we assuming any person, aggressor or defending themselves survived.

@Richard_Kirk

If we are going to have empathise with animals

If we are going to assume all humans are garbage. It would help to use situations where more facts are known than “I saw a thing”.

[Bernel]

@Ryuthrowsstuff

We are sincerely questioning whether the gater is a victim. If Bill Cosby swam by you with a knife in his face you wouldn’t think “who the hell would stab an unsuspecting, friendly, Bill Cosby while he was just wandering by”. You’d be thinking about a certain established pattern of behavior that might be related to said knife in the face.

Alligators kill about one person per year in USA, humans kill a lot more alligators than that. The pattern I see is that humans are the monsters.

[Celandine_Crane]

Left-handed people exist.

[L0ki]

@Melz2

Um… yes, Captain Obvious’s Clone; the likelihood of someone stabbing a gator ‘by accident’ is slim to none.

Trying to come up with possible scenarios for it could be a fun party game though if you’re into that kind of party.

[DreamboatSkanky]

You think you know a person.

[anotherone]

@Bernel

Any sensible person then call the cops to say that there is an injured alligator that needs to be taken care off one way or the other. You don’t just leave it injured.

Sure, the fish and wildlife folks will begin a dragnet to search for an injured gator. That’s what a sensible person thinks.

[Bernel]

@anotherone

Sure, the fish and wildlife folks will begin a dragnet to search for an injured gator. That’s what a sensible person thinks.

I’d expect them to keep their eyes open, if for no other reason than that injured animals can be a danger to humans.

[Tribune]

@Bernel

I’d expect them to keep their eyes open, if for no other reason than that injured animals can be a danger to humans.

From the quote in the article I expect then to keep their eyes closed.

They tell us they can only take a report once a deputy witnesses the hurt animal.

[Lexicat]

@Melz2

Um… yes, Captain Obvious’s Clone; the likelihood of someone stabbing a gator ‘by accident’ is slim to none.

Oh! Whoops! Did I just do that?

[Melz2]

@Lexicat

Did I just do that?

[Lexicat]

You know, I just read MD, otW for the first time this year.

Turns out they are called “classics” for a reason.

Who knew?!

[Lexicat]

@Richard_Kirk

I agree: alligators gotta alligate.

“To alligate” is my fav new English verb.

In a while, crocodile!

[timothy_krause]

Moby-Dick is really the best thing ever.