I’ve been getting them since around 35, though in larger increments. Because in a risk group, since my father died from cancer. Well, it was the early 70s, so there were even less effective treatments than now, but that’s certainly a death I don’t to have, nor to suffer my relatives from the horrible decline.
Anyway, apart from fasting and voiding, it’s not really worse than going to the dentist for a checkup and cleaning. Even the first one, where I didn’t take a sedative.
Seriously people, the prep isn’t the worst part. I admit it’s pretty bad and you can’t go very far from at toilet. But, but, the worst part is if they find internal hemorrhoids and band them. That hurts like holy hell.
I’ve had two colonoscopies, the first was a preliminary one and they only gave me a enema and that was it. That one was uncomfortable (feels like you are continuously on the edge of having a shit), but not very painful. The second I had to fast the day before and take something to loosen the bowels twice, one around 1400 and one around 2000. That one was both uncomfortable and painful, for several reasons. There was a staff problem, so the procedure was delayed two and a half hours (hadn’t eaten since the “light breakfast, no seeds” the day before). Also I’m quite tall, so they had problems getting to the end (hah) of the large intestine, so one of the nurses was standing on a stool (hah again) and pressing down on my stomach in an effort to thread the needle, the needle being my intestines and the thread being the colonoscopy device. I opted out of pain-relief, even though I had the veneflov installed, and I don’t regret it, but I did smart at times.
I actually had my kindle with me and tried to distract myself by reading some good sci-fi, but it only partially worked. The equipment they use is quite advanced though, I could see a 3D representation of the “snake” as they where gallivanting through my intimates.
The same nurse who blandly informed me I might have a massive tumor (or not) also pulled some Nurse Ratched business on me by handing me a pan & asking for a stool sample. I explained that I’d just had two days of diarrhea and hadn’t eaten in over 48 hrs, so I didn’t exactly have stool to sample. She wheeled me to the bathroom, put me inside, and said she’d be standing outside until I pooped. Straining to produce a stool sample while a nurse pounds on the door, saying “hurry up! Christ, I don’t have all day!” ranks up there with one of the more awkward toilet experiences of my life.
I took pleasure in the Nurse Director chewing her out in the waiting room for treating me like crap.
This kind of tech would be good applied to gutter cleaning robots…
Why on earth did you strain? Surely all you needed to do was meditate (or whatever else one might do, crosswords, read a book, etc.) for a few minutes until she got tired of waiting. And as for the public dressing down, that sounds just as unprofessional as the behaviour that prompted it.
I was under pressure to produce non-existent feces as quickly as possible and told by the nurse outside the door that I wasn’t allowed out until I produced a sample. She was also yelling through the door that my friends were in the waiting room impatiently waiting for me to finish. I was able to produce a pea sized amount for a sample. It took about 20 minutes.
When in the Gloucester MA area, I do not recommend the Addison Gilbert Hospital if you want professional treatment.
With those spikes it’s like a robotic Botfly larva; a RoBotfly; a RoButtfly.
So, you want to be an astronaut, right?
Ok, you officially just made it worse with that mental image…
That’s awkward, but among the most awkward toilet experiences of your life?
[bathroom door handle jiggles]
“Occupied!”
[bathroom door handle jiggles harder]
Every damn time.
Then there’s the times when it’s a stall door, and the other guy shoves through the crappy lock without even knocking or noticing the feet under the stall, and says something like “I didn’t know anyone was in here! Christ! Next time, lock the door!”
Why on earth do you ask why other people take craps the way they do?
Ahaha, you try and meditate when someone’s loudly demanding that you poop now.
Some people just deserve it. Sometimes they need a supervisor asking them just what the actual fuck they were trying to do, and it doesn’t matter where they are or who’s there to witness it.
Why did you haul ass all the way out to Gloucester? I thought you lived near Cambridge somewhere.
It definitely ranks up there with my first experience with a Japanese squat toilet on a moving shinkansen as someone was thumping on the door. Being yelled at to “hurry up!” is not a great way to get someone to relax and do their business (as you note!)
My housemate’s family owns a beach house in Gloucester, and severe tummy problems hit while spending a weekend there with friends. The ER at Addison Gilbert was the closest.
having done this more than once - the prep is horrible.
oddly, the next day? you feel great. I mean, you are EMPTY
I’m very sorry, maybe.
Why is Uranus blue?
It learned it was going to have a colonoscopy.
ETA
There are disadvantages of having to drink so much in a small number of hours. The first one I ever did made me sick of the smell and taste of the juice I decided to use. I almost couldn’t finish it. Now, I make sure to use something that I don’t like so much, just in case.
Okay, now I have to go and clean the keyboard.
Because it’s the butt of far too many silly jokes.
This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.
