A $600 teddy bear.
If you don’t have a human to sleep with get a weighted blanket and a teddy bear or a Dutch wife
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I think someone has stolen my WILL TO LIVE. 
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Cuckolded by a robot? It’s more likely than you think.
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Insert “why not both” gif please
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When humans or animals sleep with others
studies show that
you are better off sleeping alone.
My partner and I have studied this extensively and in depth.
BBShop’s studies may be a bit narrow in range.
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This is the most wonderful thing I’ve seen in a while.
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Does it vibrate? (Asking for a friend.)
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You can’t Dutch this.
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/me is confused, checks Wikipedia
/me is even more confused
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It’s a long bodypillow most often used in the tropics to absorb sweat or as a sleep aid.
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Hot water sex robot sewing kit not included.
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Oh! Hot water bottle was always my understanding of it (or that it might be what straight cis Dutch Girl cookies grew up to be)
In that case, experience has shown that better sleep is produced by either waking up the other person and having them roll over and stop snoring, or going out to the other room and sleeping on the couch. Then the cats will wake you up anyhow.
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This “sleep robot” could actually fix what’s keeping you up at night
Punctuation matters here.
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I’m holding out for a robot that will do my sleeping for me, letting me go about my business 24/7!
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She’s my plastic pal who’s fun to be with.
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It seems a bit harsh on the Dutch. You could dutch oven your dutch wife while speaking double dutch.
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Do not use in bathtub.
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Maker’s version, ductape a vibrator to a rugby ball.
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