“Please pass the butter, man”
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“Butter Emails!… Jeez, I Can’t Believe This”
“Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what butter tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think butter tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take butter for example: maybe they couldn’t figure out what to make butter taste like, which is why butter tastes like everything.”
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“When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic examination of the subject’s metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centers of the subject’s brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.”
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I used to work at a theater concessions stand. Every time I had to say, “butter with your popcorn?” I died a little inside.
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Meh. Could be butter.
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Gotta go to the Arclight, or some other cinema that uses real butter on their popcorn. They’re not all dead yet.
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My local favorite theater is a 100% butter experience. It matters!
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Or append in tiny letters"…but I have a cold, so I may be mistaken".
Punchy copy, dudes!
Until I get my shoop skills down, maybe I can convince somebody to make a container of Po(e) Slaw.
But the real question is, “Can it be used in the same way Marlon Brando used butter in Last Tango in Paris”?
[Hangs head in anticipatory shame at the reaction from people who have seen or heard of the movie]
More products:
“Sorry I Don’t Have Any Mustard”
“I Think This Mayonnaise Might Still Be Good”
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