Came for the Judge Smails reference. Was not disappointed.
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Came for Neptune (Poseidon) joke. Left happy.
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If I were to christen a boat, I would skip the smashing part and just pour a generous libation over the bow.
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It’s probably best to assume so.
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Since most pleasure craft these days are fiberglass, the common practice is to pour some bubbly into a cup and splash it over the bow, sometimes followed by a liberal offering directly into the water.
This has been proven to avoid the bad luck of having a Veuve Clicquot-shaped hole knocked in your hull.
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…cough overrated cough…
Ah yes, Pascal’s Wager, the god of covering your own ass.
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Pascal did make the mistake of assuming that the god he chose was the correct one. Believing in all of them doesn’t work either.
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And that his god wouldn’t take a dim view of “belief” simply to avoid punishment. Though I suppose since they make their gods up, believers can make them as morally flexible as they like.
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Well, maybe it’s not fancy enough for your yacht, Mr. 1%.
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Professional beakaway glassware for stage and screen is now made of brittlized plastic.
https://www.newrulefx.com/collections/breakaway-glass-bottles
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I like the gummy bear shredded silicone rubber glass shards
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Also useful for faking a mastery of sabrage, I reckon.
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I know you’re joking, but I’ll still add that my point is there are better bubbles for half the price. Veuve Clicquot isn’t bad, it’s just overpriced IMHO.
Let me guess - rain-cooled Taittinger, right?
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Back to the important things:
There are tons and tonnes of really, really useful stuff in marine stores whether you have a boat or not, especially if you are a dedicated DIY enthusiast maker.
The stainless steel fittings or waterproofed electrical components alone make it worth having a shufti.
And you’ll always find a good use for a proper rope.
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Or the Blanc de Blanc Brut 1943 
In truth, 007 sometimes had…questionable taste in booze.
Well, Prof Tolan argues that shaking the mixture instead of stirring it would result in an ever so slightly larger alcohol content near the top of the glass. And given that Bond quite often doesn’t get to finish his drink, this gives him a bit of an edge in terms of getting enough booze.
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Boatkkake
From “boat” and 打っ掛け (bukkake) Japanese, “act of splashing”
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When pouring an offering to Neptune, make sure the price sticker faces the water.
What do I know? I rarely drink champagne, and I probably couldn’t tell it from Nasti Spumanti in a blind test. Dom Perignon is too pretentious for my little vessel. Cristal is hopelessly gauche; I’m not launching a cigarette boat, ffs. Maybe Bollinger?
(In reality, if I remember correctly, I used prosecco. It’s the bubbles that count.)
Some good ideas here:
"Wine is a red liquid.
Except in the morning when it is white …"
– Guy Charles Cros
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Not a big champagne drinker either. Too expensive for my tastes.
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