TOM THE DANCING BUG: Bible Stories for Newly Formed and Young Corporations


#1

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#2

I’m just waiting for the day a Muslim corporation orders its employees to keep halal. I wonder what… oh let’s see… I wonder what Glenn Beck will say? Or Rep. Steve King - that speech will be one to record!


#3

Before assisting a corporation with removing a lawsuit from their jurisdiction, first remove the lawsuit against you from your own jurisdiction (slivers and eyes).


#4

Jesus told the [investors] to sit down [in the conference room]. Then he took the seven
[no-income-no-asset mortgages], and when he had given thanks, he broke them [into mortgage-backed securities] and
gave them to the [investment managers], and they in turn [sliced them into collateralized debt obligations]. They all [got huge signing bonuses]
and were satisfied. Afterward the [investment managers] picked up seven basketfuls
of broken pieces that were left over [and shorted them through exotic investments]. The number of those who [lost their houses and life savings in the crash] four
thousand men, besides women and children. After Jesus had sent the crowd
away, he got into the [yacht] and went to the vicinity of Magadan [to buy some sweet Magadanian cigars].


#5

And to maximizing thine own shareholder value be true…


#6

oh you win at the internet today


#7

The Corporate Headquarters didn’t “take up” most of the back of the boat from Noah. They maximized the boat’s ROI by expanding into niche stern and bow by kicking off the welfare queen unicorns and furloughing the dinosaurs.


#8

It should be mentioned that after the Ark landed both corporations defaulted on the mortgages for those buildings. It was okay though, and not promoting a moral hazard, because it was just a sound business decision - why should they keep paying a mortgage at the artificially inflated Ark flood-bubble value when there is all of this free, newly uninhabited land they could build a new campus on!


#9

You really don’t get it do you? The one’s being “forced” are the owners of the business. Not paying for something does not equal preventing it’s use.


#10

So if a conservative government forced Boing Boing to pay for insurance that covered ex-gay therapy they wouldn’t sue right?


#11

Poor example. Gay conversion therapy limits a person rights. Access to birth control does not.


#13

When you live in a state that inexplicably lets insurance companies stand between the population and their health care, yeah, it kind of does.


#14

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