I Ordered a Hot Dog from Burger King and

Would it bother you to learn that my favorite hot dog does come with ketchup?

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The door is over there.

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Well, there’s your problem.

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And such a good-looking door too. Fine woodwork, elegant hardware. Truly, nothing could compare to unless it were a hotdog with ketchup, mustard, relish, and onions on a toasted bun.

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Is it hard to come so close yet fall so short?

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I use a paring knife when dressing my hot dog with Düsseldorf mustard and onions because it serves as a signal to anyone trying to put ketchup on it that I will f–king cut you.

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Right. I’ll say it. Hot dog, onion, mustard…and ketchup. Perfection.

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They’re not bad if you hold the ketchup.

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Only until the age of ten though.

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I had a coupon. I should have known better. I hear Satan uses coupons to lure people over to the various Ca$h for $ouls outlets.

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And I will help see you through it!

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Wait, are you under ten?

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Looks pretty good to me. I like ketchup on hot dogs.

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You misspelled “Looks pretty good to me. I like wrong wrong on the wrong wrong.”

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I’m pretty sure that ketchup is a basic food group all by itself. @Stynx, get over here! Ketchup is under attack!

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Wait, are you under ten? Follow up, are you head of the Department of Education under Ronald Reagan?

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Sodium and water are both necessary for life. It doesnt mean you mix them willy-nilly.

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Only if you’re this man:

ETA: Nobody is attacking ketchup. I’m merely pointing out that ketchup on hotdogs is illegal.

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Nah, I’m not that crazy. It’s a condiment. A tasty, tasty condiment!

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Hang on now, nobody is attacking ketchup. It’s merely a condiment, not something to attack.

It’s your misguided and wholly incorrect belief about ketchup going on hot dogs that is under attack.

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