Top 25 weirdest and most inappropriate children's books of all time


#1

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Huffing Boing Boing
#2

How about : How GOD Gives Us Ebola


#3

Now, this kid knows how to keep them out of his head!


#4

“the Aluminatti know…”


#5

Super immature, but the Dutch neighbor woman, divorced with a daughter, who likes to practice her English with my wife and I recently asked me to “please take care of our pussies”(kittens) while she was out of town.
My inner douchebag was overridden to give nothing but a friendly smile as I took the cat food, but you bet I told my wife when she got home.
So a book called Pretty Pussies sounds like something that might be available in different forms for several target groups in the Netherlands.


#6

Some more for your not-entirely-seemly pleasure:

C. B. Bryza’s Are You My Boyfriend?
Gary Greenberg’s The Pop-Up Book of Phobias
Terry Jones and Brian Froud’s Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book

And whatever book this is from:


#7

Where were these books when I was a kid? I feel left out.


#8

I recall coming across this in a children’s bookstore once:

It goes through all of Bentley’s trials and ends with his becoming famous after he died in a snowstorm. Perfect for the kids.


#9

I actually remember this game being played when I was a child.

I am certain it would be much harder to win today.


#10

I was teaching English in Budapest, and during a section asked the students to talk about something they were afraid of. One of the women said “When I was a girl I was afraid of my neighbor’s cock.” I was a little… stunned, and had her to repeat what she said, and then I got it. “Oh, you mean rooster!” I said. She looked at me funny: “Aren’t they the same?” Oh, crap, now 22-year-old-me I had to explain to a room of 30-something bank tellers what I had thought she had meant, and somehow I muddled through, slightly red-faced. When I had gotten my point across, the woman said something in Hungarian, and the room convulsed for about 3 minutes. When the laughter died down, she explained in English: “When my daughter is older I will again be afraid of my neighbor’s cock!”


#11

Yaaay! A Pinkwater-shoutout!

I wouldn’t put it past him to have intentionally done everything Mitch speciously thought he implied.


#12

“Most inappropriate” is a dangerous thing to say about children’s books. Librarians have a tough enough time maintaining their collections without some yahoo tittering about double entendres for about 30 seconds before calling for an outright ban.


#13

There are a lot of “funny” children’s book cover floating around the internet, but often they’ve just been photoshopped creations

I spent a while searching for this one the first time I saw it; it just has too much verisimilitude. ('Twas no shortage of astonishingly depressing children’s books in the library when I was a wee one.)

As for Poor Pussy, one particuar illustration seems to trend quite frequently:

Finally, let us not forget the finery of http://awfullibrarybooks.net/ .


#14

The good news is that the tinfoil hat crowd has a retro-resource in those Alcoa books!


#15

You beat me to it!


#16

I have to apologize to Mr. O’Connell…I almost always get him mixed up with Mitch McConnell. Can you ever forgive me?!


#17

The French can top all of these. A friend of mine who lives in France confirms that this is just the tip of the iceberg.


#18

“La visite de petite mort”?

Ok, somebody’s definitely taking the piss.


#19

It was probably not really intended for children, but there was a book adaptation of The Jerk that had some hilarious activities. For instance there was a picture of M. Emmet Walsh with the question, “What is he shooting at? 1) The cans 2) The gas pumps 3) The car 4) (blank)”

I still regret not spending the ten cents when I found it in a used bookstore, especially since some obviously very small child had scrawled, “The jerk” in the blank spot.


#20

We had Struwwelpeter (Shockheaded Peter) in our school library when I was a kid. I loved it.

The original Grimm’s Tales were pretty grim too.
Edit: I’m still baffled as to how God gives us ice cream.