Top 25 weirdest and most inappropriate children's books of all time



Huffing Boing Boing

How about : How GOD Gives Us Ebola


Now, this kid knows how to keep them out of his head!


“the Aluminatti know…”


Super immature, but the Dutch neighbor woman, divorced with a daughter, who likes to practice her English with my wife and I recently asked me to “please take care of our pussies”(kittens) while she was out of town.
My inner douchebag was overridden to give nothing but a friendly smile as I took the cat food, but you bet I told my wife when she got home.
So a book called Pretty Pussies sounds like something that might be available in different forms for several target groups in the Netherlands.


Some more for your not-entirely-seemly pleasure:

C. B. Bryza’s Are You My Boyfriend?
Gary Greenberg’s The Pop-Up Book of Phobias
Terry Jones and Brian Froud’s Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book

And whatever book this is from:


Where were these books when I was a kid? I feel left out.


I recall coming across this in a children’s bookstore once:

It goes through all of Bentley’s trials and ends with his becoming famous after he died in a snowstorm. Perfect for the kids.


I actually remember this game being played when I was a child.

I am certain it would be much harder to win today.


I was teaching English in Budapest, and during a section asked the students to talk about something they were afraid of. One of the women said “When I was a girl I was afraid of my neighbor’s cock.” I was a little… stunned, and had her to repeat what she said, and then I got it. “Oh, you mean rooster!” I said. She looked at me funny: “Aren’t they the same?” Oh, crap, now 22-year-old-me I had to explain to a room of 30-something bank tellers what I had thought she had meant, and somehow I muddled through, slightly red-faced. When I had gotten my point across, the woman said something in Hungarian, and the room convulsed for about 3 minutes. When the laughter died down, she explained in English: “When my daughter is older I will again be afraid of my neighbor’s cock!”


Yaaay! A Pinkwater-shoutout!

I wouldn’t put it past him to have intentionally done everything Mitch speciously thought he implied.


“Most inappropriate” is a dangerous thing to say about children’s books. Librarians have a tough enough time maintaining their collections without some yahoo tittering about double entendres for about 30 seconds before calling for an outright ban.


There are a lot of “funny” children’s book cover floating around the internet, but often they’ve just been photoshopped creations

I spent a while searching for this one the first time I saw it; it just has too much verisimilitude. ('Twas no shortage of astonishingly depressing children’s books in the library when I was a wee one.)

As for Poor Pussy, one particuar illustration seems to trend quite frequently:

Finally, let us not forget the finery of .


The good news is that the tinfoil hat crowd has a retro-resource in those Alcoa books!


You beat me to it!


I have to apologize to Mr. O’Connell…I almost always get him mixed up with Mitch McConnell. Can you ever forgive me?!


The French can top all of these. A friend of mine who lives in France confirms that this is just the tip of the iceberg.


“La visite de petite mort”?

Ok, somebody’s definitely taking the piss.


It was probably not really intended for children, but there was a book adaptation of The Jerk that had some hilarious activities. For instance there was a picture of M. Emmet Walsh with the question, “What is he shooting at? 1) The cans 2) The gas pumps 3) The car 4) (blank)”

I still regret not spending the ten cents when I found it in a used bookstore, especially since some obviously very small child had scrawled, “The jerk” in the blank spot.


We had Struwwelpeter (Shockheaded Peter) in our school library when I was a kid. I loved it.

The original Grimm’s Tales were pretty grim too.
Edit: I’m still baffled as to how God gives us ice cream.