Top Saudi cleric: "Twitter is the source of all evil"


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Yeah, I was thinking this is about as close as I’ll get to being in agreement with a top Saudi cleric!

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In agreement with both a Saudi cleric and Slate, Your Source for Contrarian Bullshit ™

I love that the source of all evil is limited to using 140 characters.

The Screwtape Twitters would maybe be something I would follow.


So if Twitter is the source of ALL evil and devastation… is everything else off the hook for it?

Devastation from forrest fire - source was not careless smoker or lightning strike but twitter. Storms and smokers can now go nuts since they will no longer be the source of any devastation?

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That was Jesus who said that, damn Jewish radical nut cases again…


You know, I never thought of twitter as an ontologically basic entity. And here I thought the difficulty with the Problem of Evil in monotheistic/Abrahamic religions was there there is only one first cause, one root of all existence.

I was just rhetorically wondering yesterday how much less obnoxious gamergate and MRAs might be without Twitter.

Twitter is basically a platform for minor celebrities to snark at each other and a great place for representatives of companies to say idiotic things they have to apologize for later. Or is it more than that?

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Nah, that is only the daughter religions, Judaism has evil as a necessary permission from God so people can also make the wrong choice.

Christians point to the tree of knowledge good/evil story and get wacky about creationism because they 100% require a perfectly literal cut/paste reading in a vacuum to make Jesus into a divine/human sacrifice though completely outside of anything the Hebrew scriptures ever mention.

Jesus, he was never even hinted at in your scriptures(without King James/NIV/etc translaughtering it) but you go to hell if you don’t believe in our new version 2.0.

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The only “intuitive” interface is the nipple. After that it’s all learned.

-Scott Francis

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As a Thinkpad user, I can only agree.


For a moment, I was relieved that San Francisco was finally off the hook. But then, I remembered that Twitter HQ is in San Francisco.

He must have discovered the Solanas bots…


Really? Tell that to my kids when they were newborns, it took weeks.

My five-month-old still tries to latch onto my arm or nose when he’s frantic.

It is more than that. Due to Circumstances I don’t get to see my friends and acquaintances as often as I’d like these days, so Twitter helps us casually keep in touch without needing to make plans for brunch or whatever to catch up. “Anyone want this extra ticket to see So-and-So?” also promotes in-person interactions we might have missed out on otherwise. I don’t follow a bunch of celebrities and marketing accounts, and only a few lulz ones, so my feed isn’t cluttered up with noise from people I don’t actually have anything to do with.

And before that, The Waltz. (look it up :slight_smile: )

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Eh, pick a language like R or K+ to get a shorter representation so you can make source with explicit basis for evil, and still implement Twitter in 1 line. Twitter Dev team are hopefully revved with this new credential and dark powers.
-Endless Chocolate Bar (from random pores)
-1000 blind eyes appear (on your Mom! or Dad’s shed. This is real roots evil.)
-Ectoplasm Ads™ seethe forth on monitors
-New ToS involves chimeric offspring with Do Not Want category insect adaptations (when external digestion isn’t enough!)

…or indeed Unfollow Diplomacy and seeing what ends up on The Soup after Top Cleric shows what edicts can be made to only 8 obscure ingredients (or whatever city rules pass the City Clerics.)

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