That seems like an important set of qualifications to present in the correct order. 
Do I get any points for knowing Kids in the Hall routines or the words to Arrogant Worms songs? How about points for the land my FIL owns on PEI?
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I’m told if you can do one, you can do the other.[quote=“monkeyoh, post:61, topic:86502”]
Do I get any points for knowing Kids in the Hall routines or the words to Arrogant Worms songs? How about points for the land my FIL owns on PEI?
[/quote]
Every little bit helps. Can you sing Barrett’s Privateers? The Poor Little Girls Of Ontario? How do you look in a red wig with pigtails?
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You are now the front runner.
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I would touch him with a stick. Many, many times with great force.
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See you soon, Mr Trudeau!
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You’re asking all of the silly questions. Of course, the biggest pertinent question is:
Suppose you’re drinking in a bar. Some gent comes by and punches you in the face. Do you:
- Apologize and buy him a pint
- Punch him back harder, then apologize and buy him a pint
- Pull out your gun, shoot him, and then buy yourself a pint
- GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR.
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Answer key:
Answer #1 is the correct answer.
Answer #2 is acceptable if at least one of you is wearing the jersey of a hockey team that your hockey team has a rivalry with.
Answer #3 is unacceptable. Go back home, you lousy USAnian.
Answer #4: Okay, who invited Donald Trump?
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1 - I’ve made love to a moose with a wrestling log driver, does that count?
2 - Not make love, that’s too similar to American beer: fucking near water. But I have years of experience making wooden canoes, does that count?
3 - As Canadian as hockey, poutine, and beavers.
Look, I have Canadian heritage, I could probably come over and make it work, but I never will, because that would concede that I’ve given up on all those that don’t have the ability to just up and go to Toronto. Fuck that noise, I’m staying here to make things better and fight back against the idiots. There are plenty of them north of the border who voted against Trudeau, for example.
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You’ve never been to a pub in Carlisle then?
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Unless they know why the phrase " - - EAT BIG SEA" is humorous, don’t let them in. If they didn’t take time to stream the last Hip concert how could you call them dedicated?
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Obviously, you do the Canadian thing. More points for me!
Also, I recall enough French to survive in Quebec, and the more I’m exposed, the more returns from the dark corners of my memory.
I already drink Blue and Canadian with regularity. I bought a bag of All Dressed chips the other day on purpose (sorry @Missy_Pants, your export business dreams may be fizzling, or at least you may lose the Detroit market). I naturally say “oot and aboot” because Minnesota.
And, for even more points, I made this gif months ago:
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No. Bragging is not the Canadian way.
Wrong. There is only one right answer.
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If you’re not working “beaver” into that phrase it seems I have misjudged all Canadians that I’ve ever met. No point wasting a good double entendre.
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Aww, and @japhroaig is on a break right now. He’s really going to have to thank me for introducing him to Stan Rogers’ work.
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Flagged
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Dear America:
We’ve since gotten rid of Stephen Harper, and are trying to recover our Canadian identity. Canada would not be a good fit for you.
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When it suits her, I’m sure.
I can’t take any of the clan as sincere, they’re all opportunistic.
Besides, evangelicals love anyone to sacrifice to the Rapture.
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Haaayyyyy! I made that for Fifth Season, dammit!
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