Trump lost the 'alpha male handshake' game on his global charm offensive tour. Sad!


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/23/trump-lost-the-alpha-male-ha.html


#2

That last guy is doing something called the Dutch Rudder.


#3

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Those gifs, though. The more you watch them, the more you realize that Cheeto Benito must be 3 small aliens in a meat suit. I’ve never seen a real person shake hands like that.


#4

How do you guys handle the douchebro shake?

If I have my wits about me the next time it happens I intend to embarrass them by turning their pull into a big hug.


#5

Three baby caimans fighting each other in a meat suit, with a diseased marmot on top along for the ride.


#6

Pretty sure a feeble old man like tRump’s bones would be ground to rubble if anyone actually gave it a shot. I just wish they’d do it.


#7

Any man who must say “I am an Alpha Male” is no true Alpha Male.

As much as I hate the term “Alpha Males”, using this line against these types is always entertaining.


#8

What’s the douchebro shake? I can think of so many douchey handshakes.


#9

So does this mean the US needs to do whatever Tajikistan wants?


#10

That’s a good strategy if you’re the sort who can handle hugging random people.

I dunno if I just haven’t really encountered people who try to tug, or what. I’ve definitely encountered “alpha males” who try to grip really hard as some sort of dominance display. While I’m pretty big, I’m not by any means ripped or anything. But what I do have is pretty big hands and a very strong grip from lots of playing instruments. So if somebody tries to squeeze, I just squeeze firmly and look them in the eye. I’m not trying to squeeze harder, just let them know that no matter how hard they squeeze, I can stand there all day until it gets weird and they stop.


#11

Any shake that tries to put you off balance and/or break the bones in your fingers.We can include shakes that involve slapping your arm in that too.


#12

I’m not a hugger at all.

What I am is someone who will gladly do what he can to ruin the day of anyone who is fucking with me. If they want me to come closer then maybe I should get muuuuch closer.


#13

I’ve done that. I also put my arm around a guy one time after he douchebro’d me. For like 30 seconds. In front of people. It was great.


#14

All these men wanting to hold his hands - but still can’t get his wife to - sad.


#15

Justin could have, but after hurting JFK’s back (at a tree-planting), Canadians are careful not to damage American Presidents.


#16

As far as presidents go, tRump can afford some embarrassment and pain.

In fact, I’d pay money to watch him get hurt… Maybe in some kind of stadium.


#17

When he’s personally tweeting, which hand does he use to type? There’d be bipartisan support for damaging that hand.


#18

Don’t forget the peck on the lips that goes with it.


#19

A real top-dog Alpha Male is comfortable throwing in a little tongue, too.


#20

I have a new principle: if the introductory handshake between two men looks like a wrestling match, the ensuing meeting will be either really hilarious or a pain in the ass depending on your perspective and level of professional involvement.