Trump lost the 'alpha male handshake' game on his global charm offensive tour. Sad!

To be fair, Rahmon is in the corrupt dictator game since the Nineties. So he sure is more experiences than the orange bastard.

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Three small aliens in a meat suit.
Almost spit up my breakfast on that one! Good one!

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Kissing works; both cheeks and then the lips - tongues optional.

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“You know, my first wife was tarded. She’s a pilot now.”

“I need you to be serious here.”

“There’s that fag talk we talked about.”

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Maybe you could lightly tongue-flick both cheeks, very subtly, so no one else would notice, then lean in for the mouth. With any luck he would be terrified by then and something awesome would happen.

Extremely repulsive? Makes it morally objectionable to kiss any other human being for at least a week afterwards? Yes, but maybe worth it.

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Is it okay to sexually harass a Nazi?

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Lulz. Baby hands wanted to meet a real strongman and found out he’s really a weak man.

Let him pull you in, that way you have another second or two to roll his knuckles against each other.

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These masculine games always make me laugh. I’ve been subjected to the dudebro horizontal-on-top handshakes frequently and my go to reposnse is to put my second hand on top again with a friendly pat-pat-pat. “There, there dear. Do you need a hug?”

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You missed the one with the Roman bishop when he deplaned with Melania. She wasn’t the only one to give it to him, follow the video while he’s shaking hands with everyone on the tarmac. The bishop almost knocked him over, it was beautiful.

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or let him get you all the way in, then give him one of these

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Go with it, moving in then letting go to turn it into an “accidental” punch to the solar plexus. Leopard’s paw works better on really ripped and/or fat people.

Note: I’ve never actually done that, but my martial arts background and my underlying desire to be like the old master in the kung fu movie facing off against the annoying arrogant youngster tell me it is a good idea. They’re trying to be an unyielding stone body with a fiery attitude, so be water, flow in, put them out and wash them away.

@leicester I ike that one too!

@roomwithaview: IME women also tend to be more centered and use their whole bodies better, instead of relying just on arm strength.

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I read that as “deceased marmot”, which I think also works.

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I recall reading this exact same thing. That female muscle tissue is around 40% more efficient (i.e. strength to muscle size ratio). It’s part of why it’s only the really extreme female bodybuilders that look particularly cut–it’s more difficult for them to build the muscle volume to show it, and of course they tend to carry a little more body fat over it.

Speaking of games…

The Game. You just lost it.

Damn, @LearnedCoward, what did you have for breakfast? You’re on fire today.

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Trudeau can give me a strong handshake anytime if you know what I mean.

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