Trump: Something Big Just Happened

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So trumpty dumpty is going to make a “big” announcement on Sunday morning. Please speculate on what it might be…

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Possibly we killed the head of ISIS.
Personally I think he had a huge poop thanks to his diet of mcfood.

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Joking aside Let’s look for some likely suspects:

  • The DOJ criminal investigation of the Mueller probe. He needs his own set of hearings to distract from impeachment.
  • A “Big Deal” with China. Some hasty good economic news would push the old narrative a president is safe in an up economy.
  • He thinks he knows who the whistleblower is and wants to publicly vilify them to make himself feel better.
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Or, bizarrely, evidence that Hillary is guilty of some egregious felony.

Fine. Throw her in jail. Let’s talk about you and your felonies, friend.

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…and that he killed ISIS better than Obama did…

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The only big thing here is Trump is a big wanker.

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The detectives he sent to investigate Obama’s birth have finally reported in.

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Is it bad that I have my doubts?

I’m just remembering everyone criticising Trump for pulling troops out of Syria and claiming that ISIS were defeated. Why not fake his death and claim the credit? Yes, it is a conspiracy theory, but it is also the kind of shit that Trump would try.

I hate this timeline.

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He has the schtick of a second-rate carnival barker, “Right this way ladies and gentleman! You’ll be amazed at what you see when I pull back the curtain and you go into the big tent! Try not to faint!”

The comparison is more apt when you consider that whatever he’s hyping is going to be sad, tawdry, or horrible. Probably all three.

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If it’s any consolation CNN is reporting the ISIS leader was found by the CIA, the very agency trump likes to claim is conspiring against him.

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Under Bush, in 2006 Al Zarqawi, the leader of what would become ISIL was killed in an airstrike. We still got ISIS.

Under Obama for a while in the late '00’s and early '10’s the Al Qaeda #2 guy was being zapped in a drone strike every other week. Bin Laden was killed in a CIA + SEALS raid. We still have Al Qaeda.

Under Trump (despite trump?) last night the ISIS #1 guy blew himself up during a CIA raid. After his Martyrdom, I’m sure we’ll just have another re-org and name change.

Until you remove the fundamental factors that make people choose to take up terrorism, you will always have terrorism.

(ETA: not meant as a reply to @jerwin)

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10 mins in and trump is a no show.

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9:15 still no show

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"Could be!
Who knows?
There’s something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!"

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As predicted it’s about the ISIS leader.

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Worth while to go back and watch Obama’s announcement that Bin Laden was killed, just for the difference in tenor.

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