This photo (which Trump just sent out as part of some kind of celebratory announcement about clinching the required number of delegates for the nomination) would seem weirdly pathetic under the best of circumstances. But the real sting is that he apparently forgot all about that time he went on Twitter to make fun of people who drink Diet Coke.
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Trump declares, âThere is no drought in California!â
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So waitâwho has been shortening ski season by reducing snowfall and secretly draining the reservoirs at night when nobodyâs looking? Was it the Mexicans? I bet it was the Mexicans.
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Donald Trump will build an ocean of fresh water to end the drought, and heâll get Mexico to pay for it.
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Let me ask you this: How do the Mexicans do in skiing events in the Olympics? Mexican no-skiing agenda.
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In refuting othersâ insistence that I am âsmartâ, I used to cite David Foster Wallaceâs quote about those who worship intellect always feel that theyâre frauds on the verge of being found out. Iâve abandoned that in favor of a response is very similar to yours, except that yours is much more succinct and therefore witty.
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Wow, thatâs so colonial of them.
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Texas congressman tells Trump to âtake your border wall and shove it up your ass.â
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To be clear, getting Mexico to pay, er, âto payâ for the wall is one of Trumpâs more credible promises.
When Trump and others rant about all the foreign aid sent to other countries, much if not most of that aid is military aid. And it comes with strings attached: It must be spent on goods from major American military contractors. Itâs not the American taxpayers subsidizing foreigners; itâs American taxpayers subsidizing American corporations.
All Trump need do is send military aid to Mexico, with a condition that they spend it on an American contractor to build the wall.
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You really needed to give warning before that photo.
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The nice old lady serving as a tour guide for Canterbury Cathedral called Trump a âBuffoon.â
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Oh, man, ruining cheesy poofs like that just isnât cricket. 
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In 1989, five teenage boysâfour black and one of Hispanic descentâwere arrested and falsely convictedof the rape of a woman in Central Park. Donald Trump bought a full-page ad, calling for their executions.
DNA evidence subsequently exonerated [The Central Park Five.] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case)
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"A single boot stomping on a human face forever."
And then Trump wondered to himself: âWhy just one boot?â*
*Fictional, of course. Trump would never bother reading Orwell.
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Nope. Didnât help.
Did you hear that âCheeto Jesusâ is now a thing?
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Has anyone suggested a Trump/Charlie Sheen ballot yet?
How could they lose, with all of that Winning on the ticket?
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