Trump the Chump (Part 1)

This photo (which Trump just sent out as part of some kind of celebratory announcement about clinching the required number of delegates for the nomination) would seem weirdly pathetic under the best of circumstances. But the real sting is that he apparently forgot all about that time he went on Twitter to make fun of people who drink Diet Coke.

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Trump declares, “There is no drought in California!”

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So wait—who has been shortening ski season by reducing snowfall and secretly draining the reservoirs at night when nobody’s looking? Was it the Mexicans? I bet it was the Mexicans.

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Donald Trump will build an ocean of fresh water to end the drought, and he’ll get Mexico to pay for it.

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Let me ask you this: How do the Mexicans do in skiing events in the Olympics? Mexican no-skiing agenda.

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In refuting others’ insistence that I am ‘smart’, I used to cite David Foster Wallace’s quote about those who worship intellect always feel that they’re frauds on the verge of being found out. I’ve abandoned that in favor of a response is very similar to yours, except that yours is much more succinct and therefore witty.

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Wow, that’s so colonial of them.

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Texas congressman tells Trump to “take your border wall and shove it up your ass.”

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To be clear, getting Mexico to pay, er, “to pay” for the wall is one of Trump’s more credible promises.

When Trump and others rant about all the foreign aid sent to other countries, much if not most of that aid is military aid. And it comes with strings attached: It must be spent on goods from major American military contractors. It’s not the American taxpayers subsidizing foreigners; it’s American taxpayers subsidizing American corporations.

All Trump need do is send military aid to Mexico, with a condition that they spend it on an American contractor to build the wall.

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So we’ll be paying for the wall. Got it.

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You really needed to give warning before that photo.

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Photo alert.

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The nice old lady serving as a tour guide for Canterbury Cathedral called Trump a “Buffoon.”

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Oh, man, ruining cheesy poofs like that just isn’t cricket. :cry:

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In 1989, five teenage boys–four black and one of Hispanic descent–were arrested and falsely convictedof the rape of a woman in Central Park. Donald Trump bought a full-page ad, calling for their executions.

DNA evidence subsequently exonerated [The Central Park Five.] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case)

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"A single boot stomping on a human face forever."


And then Trump wondered to himself: “Why just one boot?”*

*Fictional, of course. Trump would never bother reading Orwell.

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Nope. Didn’t help.

Did you hear that “Cheeto Jesus” is now a thing?

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Has anyone suggested a Trump/Charlie Sheen ballot yet?

How could they lose, with all of that Winning on the ticket?

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