But a 10-mile radius around you was destroyed? Wow, your good times are extraordinary!
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The people who are getting their news from Newsmax and right-wing social media, who will have essentially memorized every possible conspiracy theory about the Clintons and other Democratic figures. A typical Trump speech is an extended gallop through a series of keywords referencing things his supporters have read about. Each time he names one, they (a) feel smart for getting the reference, and (b) get angry again about whatever it was that they got angry about when they first read about it. It’s a form of highly-compressed communication with the converted.
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I give it two months and TFG’s utterances are going to sound like the last words of Dutch Schultz.
Excerpt:
"Now listen, Phil, fun is fun. Ah please, papa. What happened to the sixteen? Oh, oh, he done it, please. John, please, oh, did you buy the hotel? You promised a million sure. Get out. I wished I knew.
Please make it quick, fast and furious. Please. Fast and furious. Please help me get out; I am getting my wind back, thank God. Please, please, oh please. You will have to please tell him, you got no case. You get ahead with the dot dash system didn’t I speak that time last night. Whose number is that in your pocket book, Phi1 13780. Who was it? Oh- please, please. Reserve decision. Police, police, Henry and Frankie. Oh, oh, dog biscuits and when he is happy he doesn’t get happy please, please to do this. Then Henry, Henry, Frankie you didn’t even meet me. The glove will fit what I say oh, Kayiyi, oh Kayiyi. Sure who cares when you are through? How do you know this? How do you know this? Well, then oh, Cocoa know thinks he is a grandpa again. He is jumping around. No Hobo and Poboe I think he means the same thing."
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Ah! I get it!
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From that same interview.
I like that he thinks Lincoln was in the Civil War.
TRUMP: so I was – over the years, I love history. I study history, and I was always told that Andrew Jackson as a president was treated the absolute worst. He was just really lambasted, and I heard Abraham Lincoln was second, but he was in, I think, the Civil War, so you can understand that, but Andrew Jackson was really, really treated badly. In fact, his wife died during the process. A lot of people say she died because of the way they were treated. I mean, she was heartbroken and broken in so many other ways, and I heard that for years, and I look now, even last night I was saying it. I said, there’s no – I don’t care. Andrew Jackson or anybody else. Nobody has – when you think of the fake things, nobody’s been treated like Trump in terms of badly.
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I like that he thinks Lincoln might have been treated kind of badly, maybe, obviously not as badly as him though. It’s a testament to how badly everyone except MAGA want to avoid violence that Trump has not been shot.
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That’s actually not a bad analogy.
Although, as a sometime linguistics student, that episode always annoyed me, because it’s a kind of caricature of the way idioms work but it’s not actually a practical or realistic means of communication.
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This is much more of a DC villain thing.
Since we’re posting pics of one specific cat, here’s his official portrait. Handsome fella!
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I think he thinks software is actually… acid? And acid can be at a strength that qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction? (Though that might be hyperbole on his part, but he’s so addled it’s hard to tell, and I think he frequently gets confused about his own hyperbole somehow being real.)
The socks thing… oh boy, I had to look it up, and apparently this isn’t the first time Trump has raved about this, but he’s getting more and more disconnected from reality. Apparently Bill Clinton did some interviews with someone that formed the basis for a book, and he supposedly kept the tapes in his sock drawer for safekeeping. Some right-wing group tried to claim that these were presidential records and should be in his presidential library, a judge ruled against them and said something along the lines that the president determines (out of their personal documents) what the presidential records are. Trump’s lawyers latched onto this (even though it clearly wasn’t relevant to classified documents), and Trump said something about it in a prepared statement he read last year. He obviously only remembers a few words of what he said (Clinton, socks, documents), and in true Trump style, has completely, hilariously misunderstood, now apparently thinking that Clinton smuggled classified documents in his socks. His cognitive decline is obvious even to me at this point, despite how bad he was in 2015.
Even Trump clearly doesn’t understand what he’s talking about, so…
I think that’s giving them too much credit - if they’re like my Newsmax-watching aunt, they only have a vague sense of the outlines of the conspiracy theories (not so much that the absurdity of them becomes clear), “knowing” that, for example, there’s some terrible Biden scandal involving some criminal activity, but not exactly what it was. (But whatever it was, it was real - they talked about it on the news! - and extremely serious.) Trump himself has even less of an understanding of the conspiracy theories. He just knows when he says particular words or phrases, people get excited. Sometimes he tries to reconstitute a narrative out of the scraps he can remember, and we get nonsense like this.
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But how effective is it for picking up women in bars?
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"They call it BleachBit, but it’s essentially acid
If it is bleach, how can it be “essentially acid”?
I think Lincoln needs Trump’s sympathy like he needed a hole in the head.
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Wait, was it Hilary who deployed the acid weapon, or the cat? Bill Clinton is immune to acid? He wears socks while doing Socks’ bidding?
I’m so confused… 
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"She hammered her phones,
she used all kinds of acid,
testing and everything else
they call it…
bleach bit"
These sound like Captain Beefheart lyrics. Put a drum solo here:
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Could the socks thing be a reference to this:
On July 19, 2004, it was revealed that the United States Department of Justice was investigating Berger for unauthorized removal of classified documents in October 2003 from a National Archives reading room prior to testifying before the 9/11 Commission. The documents were five classified copies of a single report commissioned from Richard Clarke covering internal assessments of the Clinton Administration’s handling of the unsuccessful 2000 millennium attack plots. An associate of Berger said Berger took one copy in September 2003 and four copies in October 2003, allegedly by stuffing the documents into his socks and pants.[20][21] Berger subsequently lied to investigators when questioned about the removal of the documents.[22]
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I find those last words far more interesting and personal and meaningful than anything Trump has said in the last eight years.
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It’s a low bar, but I agree.
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Yes. He’s, like, old, right?
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Since it makes chlorine trifluoride look like water, it can be anything it wants to be.
https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time
”It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that’s the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water-with which it reacts explosively. It can be kept in some of the ordinary structural metals-steel, copper, aluminium, etc.-because of the formation of a thin film of insoluble metal fluoride which protects the bulk of the metal, just as the invisible coat of oxide on aluminium keeps it from burning up in the atmosphere. If, however, this coat is melted or scrubbed off, and has no chance to reform, the operator is confronted with the problem of coping with a metal-fluorine fire. For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes.”
There’s a report from the early 1950s (in this PDF) of a one-ton spill of the stuff. It burned its way through a foot of concrete floor and chewed up another meter of sand and gravel beneath, completing a day that I’m sure no one involved ever forgot. That process, I should add, would necessarily have been accompanied by copious amounts of horribly toxic and corrosive by-products: it’s bad enough when your reagent ignites wet sand, but the clouds of hot hydrofluoric acid are your special door prize if you’re foolhardy enough to hang around and watch the fireworks.
Maybe Trump has some faded memory of his uncle John talking about it. More likely is that it is just more verbal diarrhoea.
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