Not sure if it’s entirely about politics, but don’t let the door hit you where the lord split you is the tldr; for this article:
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I hope Count Binface beats him!
Count Binface has promised to introduce national service for former prime ministers and invite European countries to join the UK in his newly released manifesto ahead of the General Election.
The self-described intergalactic space warrior released his 24-point manifesto in a bid to unseat Prime Minister Rishi Sunak in his North Yorkshire constituency.
Binface, the satirical political character created by comedian Jonathan David Harvey, is hoping to strike a chord with voters by promising that pensions will be double-locked but with a little extra chain on the side, Claudia Winkleman’s fringe will be Grade-1 listed, and he will represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest, if elected.
Count Binface told the PA news agency that his election manifesto is entitled “Bloody Loyal To Wherever I’m Standing For Election”.
He said: “It is a bold and bracing programme fit to bursting with sensible policies that mix the local, the national and the intergalactic.
“I feel sure it is the most sensible manifesto being launched today, and I hope I can invigorate the election campaign onto the issues that really matter to the the people of Britain.”
The Count took aim at the elite with several of his promises, including pledging that, if elected, “all water bosses (will) take a dip in British rivers to see how they like it” and national service will be introduced for former prime ministers.
Other flagship policies include inviting European countries to join the UK in order to create a new “Union of Europe”, and offering stilts to all British citizens to help cope with the effects of climate change. …
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We’re up to four suspects already, and there could be more to come.
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I haven’t had all the coffee I need yet, so … is that an anti-Reform prank?
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It’s referencing the milkshake attacks on Nigel Falange - Clacton is the seat he’s running in.
It’s annoying if true, because I would prefer maximum milkshake availability near him. For reasons.
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There’s an opportunity for my urine flavoured milkshakes.
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Dunking on the UK’s politics and politicos deservedly.
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The Grauniad think that the Green Party have a chance?
Wait, I forgot, they think TERFism is progressive. Still, the Labour manifesto is about as progressive as Ted Heath’s in early 1974, so even then they fail at being progressive.
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Yeah, they’re not bucking a trend. They were much earlier in electing a far right government, so they’re already in the backlash phase.
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Way to read the room there, Poundshop Trump. What a fucking cretinous piece of shit.
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I am so annoyed at this- Wakefield and his acolytes should all be in prison.
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And, because the ballots have already been selected, if they are voted in they will have to stand as independents (until the Tories welcome them back).
Do they look like they could carry off sincere apologies?
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Labour have just suspended a candidate for gambling shenanigans 
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