Unique business opportunity: Nudist park for sale

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/18/unique-business-opportunity-n.html

1 Like

No balance sheet? I’ll pass.


Seat covers included?


White chairs?



The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you—daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost.” What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)


Is “drop” a noun or a verb in the phrase “secluded bush drop”?


I have heard (firsthand) that it’s a poor business plan here in the US. No matter how good your opsec, sooner or later the morality police will come around to inform you that bodies are dirty. They will lurk in the bushes and spy from the trees in hope of seeing those naughty naughty nudists. That they are inevitably disappointed only fuels their thirst for dirt. Nudist properties are routinely sued out of business.

On the other hand, I have also heard the “lifestyle” is jam-packed with pedophiles, and that’s not so good.


The two that I know of in my god fearing state have been operating for quite a while. Both are private property and I assumed there wasn’t much the authorities could do about it, and that the surrounding farmers were the “none of my business” liberal types. However, the suburb development and mcmansions continue to creep closer and closer to my favorite spot, and Im guessing when the pure and innocent neighborhood teens begin telling stories to their shocked parents about this special little oasis just down the road, the parents are going to start asking questions to the authorities.

Being ignorant of the pedo scene, i wonder how that is even a thing that is being identified? Im sure they are scattered in among the dbag male hetero gawkers that line up like they paid for a show, but where is a statement like that coming from? It’s not like families are having to fight off attacks or anything.
For big events there are mandatory screenings for every guest, and without an event the guests are usually just a handful of bored looking dudes.

1 Like

Screw that, Pesco, after that Nudist restaurant, and the Nudist Ski Resort, and the Nudist clothing store you sold me you’d have to think I was an idoit to fall for your scams again!


Tip for first-time nudists:

  • Clothing-optional places that brand themselves “naturist” resorts are usually about relaxing and yoga and detoxing and soaking in mineral springs.
  • Clothing-optional places that brand themselves “lifestyle” resorts are usually about swingers who like getting their freak on in public.
  • Either way, please use a towel.

If I win the Powerball I will purchase this land and run it as a nonprofit so the nudists can roam free.

I won’t visit though because when we send people to nudge parks… we’re not sending our best people.


Hard pass on that one.

Unique business opportunity: Nudist park for sale

For Sale: Nudist Park. Never Worn.



“Bay of Plenty” you say?

1 Like

Never was a big fan of nudism. The best weather for it involves putting suntan lotion on body parts I am not used to putting suntan lotion on in public.

1 Like

It gets pretty cold in Cincinnati.


The ones who stare at kids… and the ones who photograph them? Yea, those guys.

Actually the story I read was recounting events of the 70s, there may be different rules now.

I’d like to dip my toe in that water, but leveraging $380,000 NZ would leave my personal assets exposed. From what I’ve read the nudist property market is overheated, prone to flaccidity and seasonal shrinkage. Just looking at the bare fundamentals it seems likely you’d take a bath.


Way disappointed. I thought it was a nudist amusement. park. Wheee!


Get rid of those mushrooms and we’ll talk.

1 Like