University of Maryland claims sponsor's chocolate milk helps concussion recovery


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I’ll stick to Whiskey as my cure-all.


This sounds like a throwaway joke from the Simpsons. Who the fuck let these idiots be in charge of stuff?


Perhaps a helmet full of chocolate milk might help to absorb some of the force of the impact?




C’mon, guys… don’t wreck a good thing! This stuff is delicious - and it’s great for my skin, but my mom will stop buying it for me if she reads stuff like this.


There was a news blurb last night about chocolate being better for a cough than prescription cough syrup…


I think the milk/chocolate combination has already been linked to serious neurological problems. Let’s not forget all those who had to be institutionalized in the 80s after going Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.


Nothing like the best research money can buy! And without shame, too, which I find amazing.


All right, it’s a fair cop - but society is to blame.


We already know that chocolate milk helps with the headaches caused by fractures in the space-time continuum, so I’m on board with this.


We’re talking choco-dairy beverages here, not dead bishops!


Hey c’mon folks, lets play nice… Perhaps Mr. (or Dr.?) Shim has had a few too many high school football caused concussions (and not enough chocolate milk thereafter) to be able to realize that nobody would believe the crock spewing forth from his pie hole.


there’s another one on the landing, and the dustmen won’t touch’em.

Where’s he from?
What’s his diocese. Tatooed on the back of the neck.


Unlikely. Liquids are incompressible. If anything it’d transmit the shock better.


That’s because combining an antitussive agent with an expectorant is like combining cocaine with benzos. Pick one or the other. If you want to stop coughing take an antitussive. If you want to get crud out of your lungs take an expectorant. Take both, and all you get is thinner stuff running down your throat that makes you need to cough anyway.

Also, chocolate makes everything better.


Food manufacturer once funds university research resulting in positive health claims about its product; press and blogosphere are up in arms. Drug manufacturers routinely fund university research resulting in positive health claims about their products; everyone seems to think this is perfectly normal.


Even through the thick pall of sleaze that hung over this entire episode, that’s the part that stuck out at me: “Real Science by real men in lab coats has proven that football + quack juice results in somewhat less neurological damage than football alone! Clearly we should expand our offerings of quack juice, rather than cutting our offerings of football!”

Even if we adopt the most optimistic of possible positions and assume that the quack juice does improve post-concussion outcomes; shouldn’t the fact that specially formulated quack juice is required to slow neurological damage be considered a bad sign?


I was thinking that meant we would replace the players with helmets full of chocolate milk. Hey, it’d be more entertaining than electric football.