I never understand these things. (Unless you’re without hands… Even then…)
Please tell me that this wasn’t an accident:
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In an interview with Vice, Sloan said he wanted to change that image. He wants to make an automatic dick-sucking robot with the quality of a kitchen appliance. “There are female toys built that are built at the quality level of a kitchen appliance. But, until now, I think, there are no male toys that are an item that you would consider a home appliance, not a toy.”
Sort of sounds like a Kitchen Appliance, too.
Fuck. “This video is not available” to me. I wanted to hear Adrian Belew’s earlier guitar work with Zappa, and I was so jazzed about hearing vocals. I didn’t know he did vocals before “Inner Revolution”. Knew him from King Crimson, Talking Teenage Heads (tried to add some kind of smiling, winking emoticon to no avail) , SNL, and Big Electric Cat.
Usually I feel ashamed about my ignorance, but now I’m inspired by it.
Such another world to explore.
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However, there are certain household appliances that are sometimes used as male sex toys by the curious. With predictably wince inducing results … 
It sounded a little like a garbage disposal…
From a JAMA article quoted by your link:
“patients may well have thought that the penis would be clear of the fan but were driven to new lengths by the novelty of the experience and came to grief”
ILOL’D
Best euphemistic turn of phrase I’ve seen in modern English.
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Darn you to heck!
Ya just managed to dredge up a long forgotten memory. At my friend’s house (12ish years old)I hear odd vacuum noise from back bedroom; wonder what friend is doing; round corner and see his grandpa on his tippy toes, bare ass saggin’ while shagging the Electrolux. Slowly backed off; I found my friend and told him that I think his grandpa was having trouble cleaning his room and that he should go help… He eventually forgave me.
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L. Ron Hoover:
A Latent Appliance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of MACHINES . . .
Get the picture?
Joe:
Are you telling me
I should come out of the closet now
Mr. Ron?
L. Ron Hoover:
No, my son!
You must go into
THE CLOSET
Joe:
What?
L. Ron Hoover:
And you will have
Joe:
Eh?
L. Ron Hoover:
Hey!
A lot of fun!
That’s where they all live
So if you want an
Appliance to love you
You’ll have to go in there
‘N get you one
Joe:
Well . . . that seems simple enough . . .
L. Ron Hoover:
Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one,
You’ll have to learn a foreign language . . .
Joe:
German, for instance?
L. Ron Hoover:
That’s right . . .
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
(Fifty bucks, please)
L. Ron Hoover:
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It’s an illusion, an yer in between
Don’t you be
Tarot-fied,
It’s just a lot of nothin’,
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It’s an illusion, an yer in between
Don’t you be
Tarot-fied,
It’s just a lot of nothin’,
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It’s an illusion, an yer in between . . .
Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . Joe has just learned to speak German. Now, get this, here’s why he did it! He’s gonna go to this club on the other side of town, it’s called THE CLOSET . . . And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean) . . . so Joe’s learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he sees this one . . . that looks like it’s a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body . . . it’s really exciting . . . and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .
Beats me. It looks like it’d be about the worst kind of vacuum to stick one’s penis in. And I probably wouldn’t wanna stick a finger in there either, seeing as it has a high speed fan just past its entrance.
I mean, guys will stick their dicks in anything. I had a buddy who (I’m completely serious here) managed to replicate the glue incident from American Pie, with Elmers Glue and a piece of PVC, because apparently the glue was the only viscous liquid he could find, and he thought his dick wouldn’t get stuck with such a weak glue.
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A potato up the bum is nothing. Just have at it with a masher.
A lightbulb in the bum is what’ll really get you in hot water.
ETA: TeeHee, “small potatoes”
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Gather round, young men, while I impart some sage advice. Remember: “If you wouldn’t lick it, don’t stick your dick in it.”
You’re welcome. 
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There’s a corollary as well:
If it hurts going in your ear, it’ll hurt going in your ass.
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Try this
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My mum discovered my brother similarly in flagrante. 
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