If they acted quickly, would be an opportunity for some BBQ.
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The “Biblical” answer isn’t even the biblical answer – its just the Evangelical Christian answer (and not all of those)…
Only 10-20% of Christians are Young Earth Creationists, basically just the Evangelicals. All the other Christians are “normal” in this respect and listen to the science. The Catholic Church, the “OG” Christians, all 1.2 billion of them, support science, evolution, and an “Old Earth.”
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Facts? Is that all ye got? Facts? Hell, facts won’t get you nowhere! You needs blind faith! That’ll do it fer ye!
Seriously, these folks know that they cannot win an argument on facts, so they just fall back on “God said, I believe it, that settles it.” Tough to make a cogent argument in the face of this brilliant erudition.
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The dinosaurs would have been the easy part, they are all fairly big in terms of animals
Imagine having to collect two of each insect, including those which eat their partner after mating. And then there’s all the termites and wood boring insects, the Ark must have been just about falling apart after 40 days.
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Not that much fun, frankly, watching this idiot hem and haw and “gee, never really thought about it” Particularly annoying is that he doesn’t even know his own mythology - SEVEN PAIRS of animals, not 2 by 2. “Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth”
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I’m pretty sure there was something about 30 to 50 feral hogs he had to gather up as well, or else why did Noah need the AR-15?
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Depends on which verse you read. There are two different lists of animals. Genesis 6:19 says “And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind…”. Genesis 7:2-3 talks about the “clean beasts”.
What is and isn’t “clean” wasn’t defined until Moses. So just how Noah knew what that meant is a bit of a ret-con. That, or Noah set up his own beastie wash.
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“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas.”
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But aren’t birds basically dinosaurs, or do they not count because they’re not real?
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Considering that the Pentateuch was created after the merging of two similar religions, the Jahwists and the Elohists, it may have been defined in one of the removed parts.
It also explains why the stories sometimes repeat themselves in slightly different ways.
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hi, i’m joe and i am running for governor. i may be an idiot, but i sure ain’t the biggest idiot!
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Actually, the world is only 6 years old. Any memories you may have from before then were implanted in your head fully formed at the time of the creation of the universe. The events described in the Bible played out over approximately 17 days. /s
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Wouldn’t it be a hoot to force a basic standardized test of knowledge on mayors across the states and plot the result on some unnecessarily elaborate rotatable map bar chart? (“No. It wouldn’t.”)
Question #13: Which of the following is the Pythagorean theorem:
- About three fifty
- You go to hell, you go to hell and die!
- a² + b² = c²
- One, if it’s big enough
- 8 ÷ 2 (2 + 2) = ?
- We don’t take kindly to no pith-ag-goreans round’cheer
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Hell, how did the humans do so without inbreeeding?
Actually, that explains a lot.
ETA: @VeronicaConnor beat me to it.
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You are all wrong. The Earth was created last Thursday.
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Years? Years?! I think you’ve misspelled days, at most. Of course even that is a simplification, as the true time telling of the Earth is based on how quickly a liter of whole milk goes bad. Depending on various factors the Earth may be as old as a fortnight as it’s dated according to the oldest liter of viable milk you have in your household? What? You don’t have milk? Heretic.
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This is America. Milk comes in gallons, commie.
/s
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Oh crap, I just remembered. . . god sent us the rainbow at that point.
So they cancel each other out.
(I wonder if a literal reading of the ark story implies rainbows didn’t exist until that moment, so then the very concept of light refracting did not exist, which makes for one weird world.)
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Canopy Theory suggests it didn’t even rain before Noah so without rain there couldn’t be rainbows.
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